SOLVED: (thus the new post)
this was so frustrating but yay on me, i did it!
i blame everything on win7 ... and its all true.
so what i did?
AHCI mode was correct after all, but win7 didnt like it
i had to regedit and disable AHCI thing
set "start" to 0
reboot into BIOS
windows now loads
installs the AHCI drivers
drive didn't show up .. i was about to scream out loud, but i did see it detecting it by name, so i thought i give it last try and swapped my mouse and drive (both using eSATA USB) and voilaaa! it works.