Sorry to seem so short
...just a very frustrating problem.
So i resolved my online play by reinstalling win7 yet again, reverted to 9.11 ATI drivers, and 2.38 realtek drivers, and all seems well...back up to 60-100fps. BUT the single player lag is still present. Haven't tried cod4 or mw2 yet, so i'll cross my fingers.
I also noticed that in gpuz my pci-e slot said @x1 where it should say x16...another problem solved.
I usually can sove problems myself...i'm no dummy...so when i come across something that absolutly stumps me i get frustrated.