Well, I talked to my sister, who's a bit more computer knowledgeable, and she says the whole headphone bit was just freak timing. I can see that, because the whole situation does seem odd.
Anyway, I can't do method two of system restore because I get the 'Volume Shadow Copy Service Error'. I've also already run Disk Check to no avail. Or perhaps I missed something, but nothing noticeable came up with it.
Computer comes back on with a dimmer screen and no sound. I can't brighten the screen (only in safe mode), and when I run Windows regularly a window pops up saying ASR Audio Device not Found.
I have no internet connection.
I cannot System Restore (or at least, everywhere I've looked I've tried and to no avail)
When running windows regularly, I can run a few programs but it only lasts for about 5 minutes until everything freezes over, and I have to restart.
Also when running normally, Windows theme looks exactly like it would in 'safe mode' except nothing it bigger.
In 'safe mode' I can run things all right.
I do hope that's enough. Sorry if I'm a bit vague.