More news... 4 GB of RAM stable for a couple hours, even with an overclock on my QX9650 to 3.6 Ghz. I put it back to 3.0 Ghz stock and didn't change any RAM settings, still the recommended DDR2-1066 BIOS settings for this motherboard... and I put the additional 4 GB back in.

Before:
Prime95 run along side Furmark along side a Windows based RAM tester. I was stressing the machine as intense as I could, stable with 4 GB RAM DDR2-1066

After:
Crashes immediately when starting Prime95 test with 8 GB of RAM.

I'm going to leave out the extra 4 GB and call ASUS/Corsair on Monday to complain. The memory is certified so it should run either way.