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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

19 May 2011   #1421

Win 7 ultimate x64 sp1

ahhnold, the inseminator

how far the mighty conan has fallen.

My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 May 2011   #1422

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit

As I'm getting on in years my doctor prescribed viagra in the hope it would boost my flagging libido.

On my next routine visit he asked if my love-life had improved.

"No," I replied, "but every time I swallow a viagra pill I get a terrible stiff neck!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 May 2011   #1423

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating
enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking
about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if
they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen
bring up the subject of sex.
"Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty much the way
you do," responds the Martian.
Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners
for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian
go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny,
weeny member - about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.
"Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"
"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"
"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with
his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until
it's quite impressively long.
"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty
narrow...." "No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears.
With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire
measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go
their separate ways.
As they walk along, Mike asks "Well, was it any good?"
"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful.
How about you?"
"It was horrible," he replies, All I got was a headache.
All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and
pulling my ears."
My System SpecsSystem Spec

21 May 2011   #1424

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest?”
Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”

Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnny’s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!”

His father says, “Calm down, son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?”

“Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy’s balloons and she’s screaming, ‘Oh God, I’m coming!’”
My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 May 2011   #1425
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit


It is your turn on the naughty step this time.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 May 2011   #1426

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64

Get back on that naughty step, Kathryn!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 May 2011   #1427

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit

I own the step
My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 May 2011   #1428
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit

You have been on it so long they gave you the Title to the property!

They will probably try to collect taxes now!.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 May 2011   #1429
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit

Jokes Thread 2-naughty.png

)Pebbly's Naughty steps...

My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 May 2011   #1430
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1

It made the news...
Jokes Thread 2-newspaper.jpg
A Guy

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