Jokes Thread 2

andsome said:

You should feed the cat to your dog.

My dog is a German Shepherd, and wouldn't do such a thing, he is hight obedient and gets along fine with my cat.plus you haven't even stated why you hate cats?

Our cat is called Doofus. Named after the doofy shenanigans it got up to when it was a kitten.

But a joke for the thread: Why'd the chicken cross the road?

xarden said:

Our cat is called Doofus. Named after the doofy shenanigans it got up to when it was a kitten.

But a joke for the thread: Why'd the chicken cross the road?

why...I'm curios now..

I love to encourage wild life such as birds hedgehogs etc into the garden. Other peoples cats do their best to destroy this wild life. I appreciate that this is what cats do by their nature , but as far as I am concerned it is anti social to keep cats in a built up area where they can wander uninvited into other peoples gardens. They also dig holes and crap into them then bury the crap. Most unpleasant when putting out summer bedding plants. I love dogs, and what is more they can be confined to their owners gardens.

I also shudder when I see people allowing their cats onto kitchen work surfaces, a filthy habit. I don't like to see them on furniture either. They belong in a farm yard keeping the rodents down.

andsome said:

They also dig holes and crap into them then bury the crap. Most unpleasant when putting out summer bedding plants.

but then you wont have to buy fertilizer.

ionbasa said:

andsome said:

they also dig holes and crap into them then bury the crap. Most unpleasant when putting out summer bedding plants.

but then you wont have to buy fertilizer.

yuck!!!!!

The Howling Wolves said:

> > Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women...

> >
> > Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women.....
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > #1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun!

A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day.

The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes.

"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man.

"O.K." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!" A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.

Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face.

Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid.

"Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen.




"Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that squid!"

The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip whenit cringes back and gives a little cry.

"I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling



(You will love this…!)

"Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show. That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. With mild green, hairy lip squid!"

Pebbly

You are banned from this thread!!!

Pebbly must have a green hair lip

I ditto Mike's comment....Ban the hair lip babe from Nottingham!!