Jokes Thread 2

[pillainp]

On a similar note to the post above, I recall once long ago reading a list of rules for personal safety and conduct for foreign visitors to Australia.

It included the statement "Never pick up a stick to hit a snake..... you may have picked up a snake.." or words to that effect.

Does anyone know where I can find it again?

It would be a great help.

TIA

NPP

 

[Dinesh]

Smartest thing a blonde ever did,

She changed all her passwords to 'incorrect'
So whenever she forgets, the computer will remind her,

Your password is 'incorrect'

 

[Dwarf]

Of course, being a blonde she still gets it wrong, even though she's constantly reminded.

 

[Thorsen]

Smartest thing a blonde ever did,

She changed all her passwords to 'incorrect'
So whenever she forgets, the computer will remind her,

Your password is 'incorrect'

Thats the password I use! I never understood and still dont understand how it works or why i do it though...

 

[The Howling Wolves]

Smartest thing a blonde ever did,

She changed all her passwords to 'incorrect'
So whenever she forgets, the computer will remind her,

Your password is 'incorrect'

Thats the password I use! I never understood and still dont understand how it works or why i do it though...

Thorsen,

Just use "PASSWORD" like I do.....

 

[Thorsen]

I use that and 12345

 

[profdlp]

My Password:

********

(Please don't tell anyone - it's supposed to be a secret!)

 

[Hopalong X]

Mine is R-38 L-24 R-34

or is that the combiation to my safe?

38-24-34 sounds familiar to something?

 

[Bare Foot Kid]

Mine is R-38 L-24 R-34

or is that the combiation to my safe?

38-24-34 sounds familiar to something?

Yeah, maybe!


​

 

[The Howling Wolves]

Mine is R-38 L-24 R-34

or is that the combiation to my safe?

38-24-34 sounds familiar to something?

Mike,
Sounds like Latitude, Longitude and your IQ!
Not sure if they are in the correct order.
THW................your one and only friend.

 

[Devux]

Two pretzels are walking down the street. One was assaulted.

 

[seavixen32]

A couple of one-liners from the late, great Tommy Cooper:

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another dressed as an egg. I thought: “This could be interesting.”

I was walking down the road the other day and saw an advert in the window that said Television for Sale - £1 – Volume Stuck on Full. I thought: “I can’t turn that down.”

 

[Devux]

I was walking down the road the other day and saw an advert in the window that said Television for Sale - £1 – Volume Stuck on Full. I thought: “I can’t turn that down.”

That's a good one!

 

[Thorsen]

A midget Fortune Teller escaped from Prison recently....

She was a small medium at large

 

[seavixen32]

Quasimodo fell out of the church belfry and lay in a crumpled heap on the ground. "Does anyone know this man?" asked a police officer. "Dunno," replied a bystander, "but his face rings a bell."

 

[A Guy]

There's a new drink called the Osama Bin Laden...

It's 2 shots and a splash of water.

A Guy :shock:

 

[seavixen32]

I do like that one.

 

[Bare Foot Kid]

There's a new drink called the Osama Bin Laden...

It's 2 shots and a splash of water.

A Guy :shock:

Cheers!

 

[beauparc]

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals
from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.

At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries.

Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.

He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these
conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

 

[beauparc]

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO.

DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.

Rusk responded, "Does that include those who are buried here?"

DeGaulle did not respond.


You could have
heard a pin drop