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Windows 7: darwin awards

01 Jan 2011   #1

Win7 Pro-64 Bit
 
 
darwin awards

You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado here are the 2010 Darwin awards.

8th Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

7th Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

6th Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

5th Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

4th Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

3rd Place
After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was
standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other (!) to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves.... 's**t happens'.

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL!

These are not the 2010 awards but are in fact the 2006 awards as pointed out by stormy13 the 2010 awards are here http://www.darwinawards.com/ Being lazy and not checking before I posted.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2011   #2

Vista Ult64, Win7600
 
 

Ooooooooch,

5th Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2011   #3

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

We have a worthy winner here... unless someone can do better for next year!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.


01 Jan 2011   #4

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 64 Bit Home Premium SP1
 
 

What's up with the RUNNER UP? He doesn't belong on the list.
You've got to die!
That goof could still reproduce!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2011   #5

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
 
 

Am I missing something here?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2011   #6
Microsoft MVP

Win 7 Ultimate x64
 
 

Those aren't the 2010 awards, in fact,

snopes.com: 2006 Darwin Awards

You can find the real ones (or until proven otherwise) here,

The Darwin Awards
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2011   #7

 
 

UNf***ingBELIEVABLE!!!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2011   #8

Win7 Pro-64 Bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by stormy13 View Post
Those aren't the 2010 awards, in fact,

snopes.com: 2006 Darwin Awards

You can find the real ones (or until proven otherwise) here,

The Darwin Awards
Yes you are correct. I got this in an email and just posted it without checking. Thank you for pointing it out.
Cheers
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2011   #9

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 8.1 Pro with Media Center
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by brightblessings View Post
and the winner is...
zookeeper friedrich riesfeldt ( paderborn , germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves.... 's**t happens'.

it always seems important to thank these people for removing themselves from the gene pool!

these are not the 2010 awards but are in fact the 2006 awards as pointed out by stormy13 the 2010 awards are here the darwin awards being lazy and not checking before i posted.


He must be the must unlucky zookeeper of the world, and completely unable to learn of his mistakes. Mr. Riesfeldt made the same mistake, winning Darwin Award also (at least) in 1998, 1999, 2002, 2003 and 2006...

Let me google that for you

Kari
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2011   #10

Windows 7 Ultimate x86
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by TVeblen View Post
What's up with the RUNNER UP? He doesn't belong on the list.
You've got to die!
That goof could still reproduce!!
Technically you don't have to die...just remove yourself from the gene pool.
But you're right...to belong on that list that dumb *** had to fix the rope to a different spot than his foot

-DG
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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