Today, i'm going to leave all my thoughts here...
There's a problem that has been messing up my mind.. I've been raised in a certain way, a way that can be found in Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man", i'm so simple.. but i've learned that society, and life in general is too complicated to be taken as "Simple".
Some of you may be familiar with the girl i like... but i think i'm getting tired of her.. i've learned that you have to give the same amount of things that you get, it's a way to demonstrate reciprocity, how can't i be bored with a girl that always wait for me to take the 1st step? and it's not that i'm being selfish and playing hard to get, but i guess one of the things that keeps you on trying is reciprocity.. if i show some interest, then you show some interest and life goes on and on... who knows? maybe something good can come out of it..
Unfortunately, venezuelan society is SO messed up that now, girls look at you because of what you have rather than who you are.. it's a known fact that a guy with a Toyota 4Runner will have a lot more attention from girls, that a guy sitting in front of his PC writing and expressing his thoughts in a forum that he found really interesting.
No, i'm not making myself look bad, my self-esteem is really good.. it's just that sometimes you feel impotent because you can't do anything to change what's already been f-ed up, and it'll take more than my thoughts to change what this society thinks...
Unfortunately, this girl... is one of those girls.. (well, at least that's what she's demonstrating now), i guess she's used to be the girl that all guys ask out because the girl is indeed gorgeous, but that doesn't mean that every guy that she meets, is going to be the same.. she met me, a totally different guy than the ones she uses to date (at least, that's what she said) and i guess she's not used to demonstrate some interest, and being reciprocate.
That, sadly... has made me lose some interest in her.. As some of you may recall, i was going to ask her out, but now.. i kinda lost the emotion of asking her out.. not only because the things i said above, it's because when we talk, i don't think that i get the attention that i like to get, and not being able to see her face to face (because she lives about 30miles from my place) the only way i can talk to her is by phone.. i'm not an attention whore but you know? feels good when somebody gives you attention.
That and the fact that i've said her twice that if she's busy (sometimes it takes almost 1hr to answer a message) she could just tell me and that's it. we could move the conversation to later on... i mean, that's what i do. Actually i've fall asleep waiting for an answer of this girl.. and it has happened more than once.. I told her last friday what i thought about that and i haven't wrote her since.. i'm waiting for the girl to show some interest in me, if she doesn't i guess i won't worry about her.. if she does, i'll give the girl another chance.. but right now, i'm not excited about it.
There's a lot of fish out there in the seas.. Hopefully, a good fish will come up someday..
PS: i'm not bummed out, or depressed.. i'm just expressing my thoughts, here's a smile that shows that i'm ok ---->
PS #2: it feels good to express your thoughts to a bunch of people you don't know
PS #3: she JUST wrote