Today [7]

I agree with Bill's suggestion as well Kari, we have that kind of nursing around here. My next door neighbour had it until he died even though his partner was still there it was too much for her to handle on her own, she's 80 now and Eric's been dead a couple of years.

The nurses came about 3 times during the day to see to his needs and then there was one who came and stayed the night. It gave Amy the chance to get out and shop or visit friends and not be housebound completely.

Another one we know lives on his own and the nurses come in during the day to see to him, at least this way the people in question were able to carry on living in their own homes.

I hope everything works out for you all Kari.

A Guy, Dwarf, Joan: Thank you for your concern.

We discussed this this morning, having a nice and long breakfast all three together. The problem here is that Mutti feels not comfortable when there's a stranger staying overnight. But, at least we had some progress now; she understands her situation quite clearly, also understanding that she has to decide now. We have made it absolutely clear that we both would be delighted if she would move in to live with us, but if not she has to accept that we then organize her care at home in another way with almost automatically involves "strangers".

I'm just feeling myself as an a**hole, as I know Angie feels herself, too, trying to make Mutti make a decision she does not want to make.

Kari

Kari, it is an odd reality that we are born needing "parental care", as children. And eventually grow old enough that we will again become "children" needing care, and someone to tell us what's best for us. It must be hard to accept our frailties, or shortcomings, and that we can no longer care for ourselves. I would wager that she would soon grow to love living with you. An option that is actually quite generous on your part. As she would likely grow quite fond of a caregiver, who was there regularly in her own home. No one likes change, and being "told what to do". If she understands how much you both love her, she will eventually realize your intentions have her best interest at heart. A Guy

Kari,

Having a care provider come in an take care of Mutti is an great option.
Having to find a GOOD trustworthy, reliable and honest one is a coin toss.
Make sure you do a background check on the person taking care of Mutti.
Most agency have already done that but do you own independent check then bring each one in to interview them until you find someone you and Mutti feel comfortable with.
This person, who you about to hire, must make you feel like she has been part of you family for years.
After doing this, you are in the 75% bracket of getting the right person.
I have gone through this process and so far I have found no one that meets our standards.
So Good Luck, take your time and pray that you can find the right care person for Mutti.

At the moment we are leaning towards a few weeks test period, Mutti coming to a "visit" to stay with us. Her home is so close we can then occasionally go all three there to have afternoon coffee together or something like that. Angie is quite sure that when Mutti gets accustomed to all benefits in living with us she would notice it's not so bad :).

She has a room and bath already prepared. Also, our church is only a few hundred meters from our house and Mutti likes to go there as often as possible, to senior citizens club to meet her friends so as small thing as it might sound, it could be the one that makes decision making easier.

Life is good, all things considered :)

Kari