Today [7]

Been revising mostly today. Had my head in my Operating System Concepts book, going over past exam papers, and scouring past academic papers/lecture notes. Stopped for now the day now, and will continue tomorrow.

Kari said:

I've quite often signed my posts stating "Life is good". It might be you have seen last of those statements.

About two weeks now I have been really weak. I can not sleep, eating is difficult. I've had quite a big problems with my sense of balance, left side of my body has not been working very well, and the headache is killing me. Still recovering from strokes I had over half a year ago and suffering from both Ménière's disease and something my neurologist calls "epileptic migraine", I've thought my feelings, my problems are normal, that I'm as well as possible with all these diseases and discomforts.

This morning at 8:30 AM I had a joint meeting with both my GP, neurologist and cardiologist. It's basically still going on, been here at the clinic since that, been waiting this whole Easter holidays, just lying in the bed or sitting in the garden. As is in their power, the doctors once again revoked my driver's license, informing the authorities straight away that due medical reasons they request my license to be revoked for a period of 180 days. Then they went on, telling me the worst news I could imagine to hear.

My life as I have known it is now over. Most definitely. I do not know what happens in the future, at the moment I only have plans for next two weeks. Today I need to stay in the University Clinic where I am now posting this from hospital lobby PC, waiting to be taken to some tests. I should be able to leave the hospital tomorrow afternoon, but at the moment I am so pessimistic I really do not know nor do I care.

At the moment I do not have all the information I would like to have. Too many questions are still not answered. I can not believe most of what I've heard, and what I can believe I can not understand.

Waiting Angie to bring my netbook here, to be able to surf SF at least tonight.

Life, if not always good, most certainly is interesting. And always worth living.

Kari

Kari,
We are wishing you good health and happiness.
Take one day at a time and be thankful for that because who knows what tomorrow will bring for any of us.
So here's to a quick recovery and be thankful to have Angie at your side.

Thanks, guys.

Angie brought wrong computer for me and gave strickt instructions: I'm allowed to surf one hour now, then she comes back from cafeteria and takes laptop with her . Just what I needed; my bloodpressure was about only thing still quite normal but now it's shooting through the roof.

It seems they want to open my head. I was told it would be best to do it at the end of the week, latest beginning of next week. I told I have some other plans, that we need to postpone the operation about two weeks and my neurologist went ballistic after hearing the reason. Don't understand why, he's known about my plans for some time now. Anyway, have to sign a bunch of papers tomorrow, explaining that I know what I'm doing and saying that hospital or doctors can not be held responsible if something happens.

A new world opening in front of my eyes, quite a lot to think really through. I'm extremely sad, wanting to be alone. Sent Angie to cafeteria in such a way I know I'm going to pay for that later. It's easier to type to strangers (sorry geeks, you know what I mean) now than talk to those close to me.

Just a clarification: I'm not dying. At least not yet . Do not misunderstand my pessimistic tone. It's just that my situation has changed in a direction what was not even thought couple of months ago when it looked as if I was breaking recovery records. It's complicated, and still too personal, but it's serious. And it's happening fast. Just to give an example, last week I could take a walk without help, this morning I could no longer control my left leg. Basically, the leg is OK. My brain sends a command to leg for it to take a step, but somewhere during the "chain of command" the instructions are lost and the leg stays put, waiting orders that never come... Same thing happening with my speach; I know what I want to say but I can not get all the words out without "searching" them, so I have to speak very carefully. The nervous system is, as they say here in Germany, "Kaputt".

Bloody difficult to explain.

See you.

Life sux!

Kari

Hi Carl, Bye Carl

Kari sending you my best wishes for a speedy recovery to normal for you, well whatever normal is for you

To be serious though I do hope you get well soon and with Angie beside you I'm sure that will be sooner rather than later.:)

John,
I think we all feel the same way.....kind of helpless and lost for words.
However, just letting him know we are thinking of him is about the best we can do and let him know we are here for them both.
THW

Kari, quite saddened to read of your new condition. I can only hope the best for you and the medical profession there. Keep your spirits up, it is a vital part of recovery. Take care, Bill

Kari...
I dont know what can I say to you ..... I just can expect that everything will be fine again as soon as possible .