Jokes Thread


  1. Posts : 130
    Windows® 7 Home Basic 64bit, Build 7600
       #1301

    ITChick said:
    that one made me laugh elsuirad! Here's one:

    2 cannibals were munching on a clown
    One cannibal says to the other one: Does this taste funny to you?
    Hilarious!
      My Computer


  2. Posts : 130
    Windows® 7 Home Basic 64bit, Build 7600
       #1302

    Enlargement


    A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts.

    Dr. Smith advised her, 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'

    She did this faithfully for several months!

    To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs! (See image001.gif)


    One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

    Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood up in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie, doobies, I want bigger boobies.'

    A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, 'Excuse me, Are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?'

    'Yes I am... How did you know?' She replied.

    He winked and replied, " Hickory dickory dock ..." (see image002.gif)


    Oh.....ah...aaahhhhhh....aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
    Jokes Thread Attached Images Jokes Thread-image001.gif Jokes Thread-image002.gif 
      My Computer


  3. Posts : 49
    Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
       #1303

    What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry?

    If you weren't so fresh last night, we wouldn't be in this jam!
      My Computer


  4. Posts : 531
    Windows 7 Ultimate x64 RTM + SP1
       #1304

    An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown
    emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

    The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.

    A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment..

    The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says,
    'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'

    Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

    This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

    'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.

    Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

    Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

    The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

    'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

    'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

    'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man. The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'

    The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big bum and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'


    Lucky
      My Computer


  5. Posts : 130
    Windows® 7 Home Basic 64bit, Build 7600
       #1305

    DANG!... You should have a THIRD Wish.
      My Computer


  6. Posts : 7,781
    Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
       #1306

    More of a thought then a joke but true nonetheless:

    Why do we bother to name our cats when the only thing they respond to is "Kitty"?
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 17,322
    Win 10 Pro x64
       #1307

    Borg 386 said:
    More of a thought then a joke but true nonetheless:

    Why do we bother to name our cats when the only thing they respond to is "Kitty"?
    That just happens to be my cat's name!
      My Computer


  8. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #1308

    derekimo said:
    Borg 386 said:
    More of a thought then a joke but true nonetheless:

    Why do we bother to name our cats when the only thing they respond to is "Kitty"?
    That just happens to be my cat's name!

    Coming from East Bay everyone's name is KITTY!
    Jokes Thread-embarassed.jpg

    Just joking Derek!
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 17,322
    Win 10 Pro x64
       #1309

    The Howling Wolves said:
    derekimo said:
    Borg 386 said:
    More of a thought then a joke but true nonetheless:

    Why do we bother to name our cats when the only thing they respond to is "Kitty"?
    That just happens to be my cat's name!

    Coming from East Bay everyone's name is KITTY!
    Jokes Thread-embarassed.jpg

    Just joking Derek!
    That's alright Dennis, at least it's not bubba!
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 4,663
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
       #1310

    Do regular dogs think that poodles are into some kind of weird orthodox religion?
      My Computer


 

  Related Discussions
Our Sites
Site Links
About Us
Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:35.
Find Us