Jokes Thread

Page 41 of 196 FirstFirst ... 31394041424351141 ... LastLast

  1. Posts : 22,814
    W 7 64-bit Ultimate
       #401

    I like it. :)

    jfar said:
    Remember it is only a joke.

    On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the

    following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:

    2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

    2 French men and 1 French woman

    2 German men and 1 German woman

    2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

    2 English men and 1 English woman

    2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman

    2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman

    2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman

    2 American men and 1 American woman

    2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman


    One month later the following things have occurred -

    One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

    The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a

    menage-a-trois.

    The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman
    The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is

    cleaning and cooking for them.

    The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
    The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long

    look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

    The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions,

    The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant

    and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply

    employees for their stores.


    The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because

    the American woman endlessly complains about her body; the true nature

    of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of

    fulfilment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees

    make her arse look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her

    opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with

    her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining

    The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a

    distillery. They don't remember if sex is in the picture because it gets

    sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they've

    satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.
      My Computer


  2. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #402

    Bare Foot Kid said:
    I like it. :)
    Me too. But there's a mistake: That one woman was not American! I know her, she's from Finland. I was married to her way back in the 80's.

    Kari
      My Computer


  3. Posts : 5,840
    Vista Ult64, Win7600
       #403

    Kari said:
    Bare Foot Kid said:
    I like it. :)
    Me too. But there's a mistake: That woman was not American! I know her, she's from Finland. I was married to her way back in the 80's.

    Kari

      My Computer


  4. Posts : 22,814
    W 7 64-bit Ultimate
       #404

    Kari said:
    Bare Foot Kid said:
    I like it. :)
    Me too. But there's a mistake: That one woman was not American! I know her, she's from Finland. I was married to her way back in the 80's.

    Kari

    So you were married to her also?

    Jokes Thread-strumpet.jpg
      My Computer


  5. Posts : 5,807
    Windows 7 Home Premium x64 - Mac OS X 10.6.4 x64
       #405

    Bare Foot Kid said:
    Kari said:
    Bare Foot Kid said:
    I like it. :)
    Me too. But there's a mistake: That one woman was not American! I know her, she's from Finland. I was married to her way back in the 80's.

    Kari

    So you were married to her also?

    Jokes Thread-strumpet.jpg
    Thanks BFK...

    I will now have nightmares
      My Computer


  6. Posts : 22,814
    W 7 64-bit Ultimate
       #406

    My pleasure mate!
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #407

    Bare Foot Kid;503687
    So you were married to her also? :shock:

    [ATTACH said:
    47384[/ATTACH]
    Yes. I can still remember the wedding. It was only my second marriage so I was still a bit unexperienced, I did not know if I should give some money to the priest who wed us.

    So after the ceremony I asked him how much i owe. He said it's up to me, how do I feel about the marriage and my newly wedded wife. I looked at my wife quite a long, turned back to the priest and gave him 50 Finnish Marks (about 9 Euro todays money).

    The priest looked at my new wife, turned back to me and gave me 35 Marks back.
      My Computer


  8. Posts : 5,807
    Windows 7 Home Premium x64 - Mac OS X 10.6.4 x64
       #408

    Kari said:
    Bare Foot Kid;503687
    So you were married to her also? :shock:

    [ATTACH said:
    47384[/ATTACH]
    Yes. I can still remember the wedding. It was only my second marriage so I was still a bit unexperienced, I did not know if I should give some money to the priest who wed us.

    So after the ceremony I asked him how much i owe. He said it's up to me, how do I feel about the marriage and my newly wedded wife. I looked at my wife quite a long, turned back to the priest and gave him 50 Finnish Marks (about 9 Euro todays money).

    The priest looked at my new wife, turned back to me and gave me 35 Marks back.
    I remeber hearing you tell that story a while ago Kari and it still cracks me up
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 255
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit
       #409

    Creationism LOL


    Bill Gates picks his own punishment

    Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.

    Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

    "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.

    As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

    "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.

    "The bottle has a hole in it!"

    "What about the PC?"

    "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.

    "And it's missing three keys,"

    "Which three?"

    "Control, Alt and Delete."
    Last edited by CoolioG; 16 Jan 2010 at 10:25.
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 906
    Win 7 pro 64-bit, Ubuntu 9.10 64-bit
       #410

    CoolioG said:
    Watch out, BFK wont like this (and i neither do i, you should reason with someone who's belifes are strange to you, not just laugh at them)
      My Computer


 
Page 41 of 196 FirstFirst ... 31394041424351141 ... LastLast

  Related Discussions
Our Sites
Site Links
About Us
Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 17:51.
Find Us