This is a bit sick so read no further if you are easily naused out.
Guy works day shift in a railway signal box.
One morning he arrives at work to find his usually miserable night shift colleague grinning from ear to ear.
Guy: "You're happy this morning"
Night shift guy: "I just had the best shift ever, you won't believe it"
Guy: "Tell me"
Night shift guy: "Well it was about 2am and there hadn't been a train for a while so I was just having a read when I looked out of the window and saw this naked woman tied to the track"
Guy: "Wow, what happened"
NSG: "I went outside and untied her and carried her in here"
Guy: "Yeah, what happened then"
NSG: "We made love on that very table! What do you think of that for a shift eh?"
Guy: "Amazing, you lucky devil. Was she like, good looking and stuff?"
NSG "Dunno, never found her head"