Jokes Thread

xarden said:

WindowsStar said:

A chicken and an egg were in bed. After they finished making love the egg rolled over and said, "Well now we know the answer to that question!"

Theres a cartoon of this one somewhere! I cant find it anywhere anymore
Its the chicken and egg in bed, and the chicken is smoking a cigarette.
The caption of the pic is 'Mystery Solved'

If you can find it, please post it.

HUMOR :These classifieds actually ran in a Minneapolis newspaper - a smile for your day....


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER:
8-years old. Hateful little b******. Bites!


FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.


FREE PUPPIES:
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog - able to leap tall fences in a single bound.


FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG:
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.Better be a big reward.


COWS... NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK:
$300. Hardly used. Call Chubby.


GEORGIA PEACHES:
California grown - 89 cents/lb.


JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer. $300.


WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE...
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.


And the best one?


FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything

RUMOR : John Milton wrote Paradise Lost after he got married , and he wrote Paradise Regined after his wife died .

Which one of these?

elsuirad said:

Which one of these?

The explanation Men have been waiting for...

While creating Wives, God promised Men that good and ideal Wives would be abundantly found in all corners of the world.

And then He made the earth round.....

Borg 386 said:

The explanation Men have been waiting for...

While creating Wives, God promised Men that good and ideal Wives would be abundantly found in all corners of the world.

And then He made the earth round.....

No wonder I haven't found one yet!

Related:


God created man and named him Adam. Adam lived in the Garden of Eden for quite some time and then one day God came to him.

God said "Adam, I see you here everyday walking around in the garden, but I have come to think that you might be lonely. So I am going to create another creature with which you can interact with. She will be called Eve. She will be everything you hope for and the most beautiful creature you have ever seen. More wonderful than any of my creations. She will tend to your every need, care for you, feed you, comfort you. She will do your bidding as you ask and respect your wishes through and through. She will do all this and ask of nothing in return. But as I see fit, I will require something from you in return."

Adam after hearing all this was delighted and said "What do you ask of me Lord?"

"It will cost you an arm, your left foot, a rib, your right collar-bone and your left testicle"




After a long pause contemplating this arrangement, Adam replied "What can I get for a rib?"