Jokes Thread

Joan Archer said:

I didn't think it would be Dinesh, I would expect you to have more sense than the person who owned that one

Joan Archer said:

I didn't think it would be Dinesh, I would expect you to have more sense than the person who owned that one

That's probably one of the people that calls him at work asking for help with their PC!:)

noobvious said:

Joan Archer said:

I didn't think it would be Dinesh, I would expect you to have more sense than the person who owned that one

That's probably one of the people that calls him at work asking for help with their PC!:)

You found it.

For bird lover's...
How to tell which is male and which is female!


Click on picture.

No further comment needed..

The Howling Wolves said:

For bird lover's...
How to tell which is male and which is female!


Click on picture.

No further comment needed..

M&M Duels

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling.

So what's the problem????????"


-- Jay Leno

BugMeister said:

ninja's preparing a black pudding for supper..

Guy on the left reminds me of Techno Viking