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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

16 Dec 2011   #101
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

Pebbly, you're too much!

See what you started? Everyone's doing it now.

Jokes Thread [3]-bus.png

You might be getting a call from Transport for London - they're after good drivers!


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17 Dec 2011   #102
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by seavixen32 View Post
Pebbly, you're too much!

See what you started? Everyone's doing it now.

Attachment 188609

You might be getting a call from Transport for London - they're after good drivers!
The only problem is she has to be drinking and can only drive the one route from the pub to home.

Jim
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17 Dec 2011   #103
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Finally, a word to describe Obama and his voters.

Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.
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.

17 Dec 2011   #104
Maguscreed

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Finally, a word to describe Obama and his voters.

Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.
There's one thing a lot of people don't seem to realize that I think needs more attention. For every 12 dollars we put into welfare barely a dollar of it actually makes it to the end of the line. The rest of the money is all used supporting the massive bureaucracy that has built up around the welfare system.

...so once again it's not the poor... it's the government...
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19 Dec 2011   #105
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.
She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.
Their insight will surprise you!
While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1.
Don't change horses

until they stop running.

2.
Strike while the

bug is close.

3.
It's always darkest before

Daylight Saving Time.

4.
Never underestimate the power of

termites.

5.
You can lead a horse to water but

how?

6.
Don't bite the hand that

looks dirty.

7.
No news is

impossible.

8.
A miss is as good as a

Mr.

9.
You can't teach an old dog new

math.

10.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll

stink in the morning.

11.
Love all, trust

me.

12.
The pen is mightier than the

pigs.

13.
An idle mind is

the best way to relax.

14.
Where there's smoke there's

pollution.

15.
Happy the bride who

gets all the presents.

16.
A penny saved is

not much.

17.
Two's company, three's

the Musketeers.

18.
Don't put off till tomorrow what

you put on to go to bed.

19.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and

you have to blow your nose.

20.
There are none so blind as

Stevie Wonder.

21.
Children should be seen and not

spanked or grounded.

22.
If at first you don't succeed

get new batteries.

23.
You get out of something only what you

see in the picture on the box.

24.
When the blind lead the blind

get out of the way.

25.
A bird in the hand

is going to poop on you.


And the WINNER and last one!

26.
Better late than

pregnant.


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19 Dec 2011   #106
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Some Mornings I wake up Grumpy, Other days I let her sleep.

Fat Women are like Scooters, Fun to ride but you would not like your friends to see you with one.

Got permission to post here from the boys at Triumph Talk..............Motor bike club
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20 Dec 2011   #107
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Two female friends are catching up:
- So, how was your evening last night?
- A disaster! After getting home, my dear beloved hubby wolfed down in 4
minutes the dinner that took me all afternoon to prepare, "granted" me 3 minutes of passionate love before rolling over and falling asleep 2 minutes later.

And you?
- Oh, mine was incredible. My hubby was waiting for me to get back home from work.. He took me out for a very romantic dinner. We then walked back home, under an amazing starry sky, along the canal, for a good two hours. Once home, he lit up all the candles we had and our foreplay lasted for an hour. We then made love for another hour and then we chatted until late. It was wonderfull...


Meanwhile, at the pub, the husbands are "networking"...:
! - So, how was your evening last night?
- Great! When I came home, the food was ready. I ate, we shaxxed and I fell asleep. You?

- A nightmare! I came home earlier to fix the kitchen shelf. When I
switched on the power drill, the fuse went out. The whole house went into darkness.
Couldn't find the bloody fusebox, so when my better half arrived, I took her out.
It was the only thing to do to avoid getting an earfull... Dinner was so expensive that I couldn't afford the taxi back home, so we had to walk home. Once there, the house was still in the dark, obviously, so I had to light all these f * cking candles to avoid knocking everything down. I was so wound up that it took me an hour to get a hard on, and another one to come. In the end, I was so p!ssed off that it took me ages to fall asleep, while she kept yapping on and on about everything and nothing...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
20 Dec 2011   #108
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Another ....Jokes Thread [3]-ngpeb.png award for Pebbly!
Wonder where she gets all these jokes from or are these from her past experiences?
THW


My System SpecsSystem Spec
20 Dec 2011   #109
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Shhhh
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20 Dec 2011   #110
panais

Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by pebbly View Post
Shhhh
Shhhhh.....
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