| Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3] |
23 Dec 2012
|
#1091 | | Windows 7 Pro x64 SP1 Rockville, Maryland USA |
Groan...
rich | My System Specs |
| Computer type Laptop System Manufacturer/Model Number Toshiba Laptop Qosimo X870 OS Windows 7 Pro x64 SP1 CPU Intel Core I7 Motherboard Toshiba Memory 16 Gigs Graphics Card NVIDIA GeForce GTX 670M Monitor(s) Displays 17.7" laptop Screen Resolution 1600 x 900 Hard Drives 256 Gig SanDisk SSD for C
256 Gig Intel SSD for D Internet Speed 50/25 FIOS Antivirus Vipre (all you can eat for 10 machines) Browser IE and FF Other Info I have dos 6.22, wfwg 3.11, win98, 2000 and xp VHD's available for testing. MS's Virtual PC works great. |
23 Dec 2012
|
#1092 | | Windows 8 - 64-bit So. Ar. |
"hahahahahaHAHA.. great ONE Pebbly...... | My System Specs | | Computer type Laptop System Manufacturer/Model Number Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop OS Windows 8 - 64-bit CPU 2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca Memory 8GB DDR3 Graphics Card Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory Monitor(s) Displays 17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD Screen Resolution 1280 X 1024 Keyboard Multi Gesture Touchpad Mouse USB - portable mouse... I added this PSU Intel B960 processor Case XXXXX Cooling XXXXX Hard Drives 1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive Antivirus Avast Browser I E 10 Other Info I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN
•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means |
23 Dec 2012
|
#1093 | | Windows 7 64 bit Anglesey |
From the late, great Ronnie Barker. On TV in the 1970s This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian.
She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.
Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny! | My System Specs | | System Manufacturer/Model Number Mesh 955 XGS OS Windows 7 64 bit CPU Athlon X4 955 Black edition Motherboard ASUS M4A78 Pro Memory 8GB DDR2 Graphics Card 1x Radeon 4890 Monitor(s) Displays IIyama ProLite E2208HDS Screen Resolution 1920X1080p Keyboard MS wireless 6000 Mouse MS wireless laser 7000 PSU 600 watt Cooling Standard Hard Drives 2x 1TB Samsung SATA2
1x 320GB IDE Internet Speed Not as fast as it should be...... |
23 Dec 2012
|
#1094 | | Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit 7600 cornwall UK |
loved the two ronnies, i can never remember which was which
was ronnie barker the fuge bat hastard | My System Specs | | System Manufacturer/Model Number Hewlett packard/p6512uk OS Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit 7600 CPU IIx4 amd athelon 635 processor Motherboard FOXCONN 2AA9 Memory 2x2gb Graphics Card ati radeon HD 5450 Sound Card (1) Realtek High Definition Audio (2) AMD High Definition Monitor(s) Displays samsung lcd tv 32" Screen Resolution 1360x 768 Keyboard wireless hp Mouse wireless Hp,optical PSU ? Cooling air! Hard Drives (1) WDC WD10 01FAES-60Z2A0 SATA Disk Device (2) Maxtor OneTouch USB Device (3) ST310003 33AS USB Device (4) WD My Book 1111 USB Device Internet Speed 1.10mb/s Antivirus MSE Browser Firefox |
23 Dec 2012
|
#1095 | | Windows 7 64 bit Anglesey |
Yes. Corbett is the short one! | My System Specs | | System Manufacturer/Model Number Mesh 955 XGS OS Windows 7 64 bit CPU Athlon X4 955 Black edition Motherboard ASUS M4A78 Pro Memory 8GB DDR2 Graphics Card 1x Radeon 4890 Monitor(s) Displays IIyama ProLite E2208HDS Screen Resolution 1920X1080p Keyboard MS wireless 6000 Mouse MS wireless laser 7000 PSU 600 watt Cooling Standard Hard Drives 2x 1TB Samsung SATA2
1x 320GB IDE Internet Speed Not as fast as it should be...... |
23 Dec 2012
|
#1096 | | Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit. SP-1 Northern Ohio |
I have been told their are three words that men don't like to hear. Is it in.
Last edited by Layback Bear; 23 Dec 2012 at 06:14 PM..
Reason: spelling
| My System Specs | | Computer type PC/Desktop System Manufacturer/Model Number Home made Desktop OS Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit. SP-1 CPU Intel i7-960-3.2 @ 4.25 Motherboard ASUS P6X58D-E Memory KINGSTON KHX2000C9, Hyper X,12 GIGS Graphics Card MSI/Nvidia/460GTX-Cyclone 1GD5/OC Monitor(s) Displays DYNEX 40 IN. Screen Resolution 1920-1080 or 1280-720 HDMI Keyboard M/S 3000 v 2.0 wireless Mouse M/S 5000 wireless PSU Corsair AX-850 Plus Gold Case Corsair 600T (Black) + side panel with 2 140 mm Noctua fans Cooling Corsair H50/2 Noctua NF-P12 (120 mm) Push/Pull- Hard Drives INTEL SSD 120GB-SER 510
Seagate 1TB SATA 600 7200 rpm Hard Drive Internet Speed 3.0 mb Antivirus Microsoft Security Eesentials Browser I.E. 10 default/Firefox Other Info LG BluRay-Read/Write
Sound system
KLipsch-THX
Asus Router RTN-12
2 Noctua 140 added on top of 600t case
Malwarebytes Anti Malware Professional
Windows 7 Firewall |
23 Dec 2012
|
#1097 | | Windows 8 Pro Standish, Lancashire, England |
"Pass the Visa" scares me more. | My System Specs | | Computer type PC/Desktop System Manufacturer/Model Number doofenshmirtz evil incorporated OS Windows 8 Pro CPU Intel Core i7-3970X Extreme Edition Motherboard ASRock X79 EXTREME11 Memory 32GB (8x4GB) Corsair DDR3 Dominator Platinum Graphics Card 2x 3GB EVGA GTX 660 Ti Superclocked+ Sound Card Creative Monitor(s) Displays 3 x27" Dell & 2 x 23" Dell Screen Resolution 3 @ 2560x1440 & 2 @ 1920x1080 Keyboard Microsoft Ergononic 7000 Mouse Logitech Performance MX PSU 1500W ThermalTake Toughpower Case Thermaltake Level 10 GT Cooling Antec Kúhler H2O 620 CPU Watercooler Hard Drives 240GB Intel 520 Series, 2.5" SSD, SATA III
Intel X25-M SSD - 160GB Internet Speed 34 Mb/s ADSL2+ (Bonded) Antivirus Windows Defender, Malwarebytes Pro Browser Firefox Other Info WinTV NovaTD
HP CP1515n Color Laser
Sony BD-5300S-0B Blu-ray Writer
Microsoft LifeCam Cinema
APC 750i Smart UPS |
23 Dec 2012
|
#1098 | | Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit. SP-1 Northern Ohio |

Quote: Originally Posted by z3r010 "Pass the Visa" scares me more. Oh yes that does make one tremble and sweat. | My System Specs | | Computer type PC/Desktop System Manufacturer/Model Number Home made Desktop OS Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit. SP-1 CPU Intel i7-960-3.2 @ 4.25 Motherboard ASUS P6X58D-E Memory KINGSTON KHX2000C9, Hyper X,12 GIGS Graphics Card MSI/Nvidia/460GTX-Cyclone 1GD5/OC Monitor(s) Displays DYNEX 40 IN. Screen Resolution 1920-1080 or 1280-720 HDMI Keyboard M/S 3000 v 2.0 wireless Mouse M/S 5000 wireless PSU Corsair AX-850 Plus Gold Case Corsair 600T (Black) + side panel with 2 140 mm Noctua fans Cooling Corsair H50/2 Noctua NF-P12 (120 mm) Push/Pull- Hard Drives INTEL SSD 120GB-SER 510
Seagate 1TB SATA 600 7200 rpm Hard Drive Internet Speed 3.0 mb Antivirus Microsoft Security Eesentials Browser I.E. 10 default/Firefox Other Info LG BluRay-Read/Write
Sound system
KLipsch-THX
Asus Router RTN-12
2 Noctua 140 added on top of 600t case
Malwarebytes Anti Malware Professional
Windows 7 Firewall |
23 Dec 2012
|
#1099 | | Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600) Canberra, ACT |

Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear 
Quote: Originally Posted by z3r010 "Pass the Visa" scares me more. Oh yes that does make one tremble and sweat. Agreed. | My System Specs | | System Manufacturer/Model Number Hewlett-Packard OS Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600) Memory 4096MB RAM Graphics Card Radeon ATI HD4870 Monitor(s) Displays NVIDIA GeForce GT220 Screen Resolution 1680 x 1050 |
24 Dec 2012
|
#1100 | | |
A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring " Run....Run!" The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: " R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya! " A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams " R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya! " The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells " R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run! " All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, " He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls. " After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, " Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!! " | My System Specs | | System Manufacturer/Model Number Put together OS Win7 Pro-64 Bit CPU i7-2600-3.4GHz Motherboard ASRock Z68M Memory 8 GIG DDR3 Graphics Card onboard Sound Card onboard Keyboard Microsoft Mouse Microsoft optical PSU 550 Case black Cooling stock fans Hard Drives Seagate 1TB 7200RPM Jokes Thread [3] problems? All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:02 AM. | |