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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

04 Feb 2013   #1161
Joan Archer

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 32 bit/Windows 8.1 64bit
 
 

Would I
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04 Feb 2013   #1162
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Joan Archer View Post
Would I
Live life to the full Joan
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04 Feb 2013   #1163
Joan Archer

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 32 bit/Windows 8.1 64bit
 
 

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.


04 Feb 2013   #1164
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by pebbly View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Joan Archer View Post
Would I
Live life to the full Joan

Pebbly and Joan you both qualify on being full of life and other things!
THW
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04 Feb 2013   #1165
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

Name:  Funny-Husband-Wife-Poison-Coffee.jpg
Views: 9
Size:  35.9 KB

Jim


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06 Feb 2013   #1166
Paarkhi

Windows 8.1u1 x64
 
 

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to
kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and
told him, I've kidnapped you.
She then wrote a note saying, I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning,
put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide
on the north side of the playground.
Signed, A Blonde.

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to
show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough,
a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and
found the $10,000 with a note that said, How could you do this to a fellow
Blonde?
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07 Feb 2013   #1167
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $250,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems!
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08 Feb 2013   #1168
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $250,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
09 Feb 2013   #1169
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his organ is covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US, we know very little about it.”

The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.”

The doctor answers, “I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate it”

The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!”

The doctor replies, “Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option.”

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his organ and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.”

The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut it off !”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!”


“Oh, thank God!”the man exclaims.



“Yes,”says the Chinese doctor, “Wait two week. Fawl off by itself!”
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09 Feb 2013   #1170
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

And Pebbly strikes again!
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