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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

29 Apr 2013   #1271
jdXp610

Windows 7 Ultimate x64
 
 

Quote:
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen
OM* thank goodness it's at least another 6 months until the next snow fall giving me time to forget, because the next time I see a snowman, they are going to wonder who the lunatic is
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Apr 2013   #1272
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

This came today from one of my Jewish friends in Canada

" Problem Solved "

The nice Jewish mother-in-law comes home and finds her son-in-law furious, and packing his suitcase

What happened?? She asks.

Eli screamed, "What happened? I'll tell you what happened!

I sent an email to my wife saying that I was coming home from my trip today.


I got home and guess what I found?


My wife, yes my Rachel, your daughter, with a naked guy in our marital bed!


This is the end of our marriage. I will leave forever!"

"Calm down!" says mother-in-law. "There's something odd about this story.


Rachel would never do such a thing!


Wait a minute while I check what happened."

Moments later, mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.


"You see, I said that there must be a simple explanation.


Rachel never received your email"!

*********************************

LOL..... now they have another problem !!!!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Apr 2013   #1273
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

A CROWDED LIBRARY

A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.
He asked a girl sitting alone at a table, 'Do you mind if I sit beside you?

The girl replied in a very loud voice, 'I don't want to spend the night with
you!'
All the students in the library started staring at the guy, he was truly
embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said
with a laugh, 'I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess
you felt embarrassed, right?'
The guy then responded with a loud voice, '$500 for one night? ... That's too
much!'

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The guy whispered in her ear, 'I study law, and I know how to screw people!'
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

30 Apr 2013   #1274
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
A CROWDED LIBRARY

A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.
I honestly don't remember being in that library!

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 May 2013   #1275
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
A CROWDED LIBRARY

A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.
I honestly don't remember being in that library!

A Guy
Maybe because it's been ages for you actually being in that library?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 May 2013   #1276
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
A CROWDED LIBRARY

A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.
I honestly don't remember being in that library!

A Guy
Bill.. go take a quick nap... maybe things will clear up for ya....lol
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 May 2013   #1277
Britton30
Microsoft MVP

Windows 7 Ultimate X64 SP1
 
 

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut,
you 'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
06 May 2013   #1278
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Britton30 View Post
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut,
you 'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
Ouch xD
My System SpecsSystem Spec
07 May 2013   #1279
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt,

tsunamis to devastate,

hurricanes to swirl around

& no one teaches a man how to choose a wife.

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 May 2013   #1280
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

xD Nice one LPt
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