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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

25 Dec 2011   #121
BugMeister

Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Dec 2011   #122
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Women Are Like Apples :~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
------------------Women--------------
-------------are like apples----------
---------on trees. The best ones-----
-------are at the top of the tree.------
------The men dont want to reach----
----for the good ones because they ----
--are afraid of falling and getting hurt--
-Instead, they just get the rotten apples-
--from the ground that arent as good, --
but easy. So the apples at the top think-
something is wrong with them, when in-
--reality, theyre amazing. They just-----
---have to wait for the right man to------
----- come along, the one whos--------
----------- brave enough to--------------
-----------------climb all---------------
----------------- the way----------------
-----------------to the top--------------
---------------- of the tree!------------
Author:unknown
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2012   #123
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

More truth than a Joke..

Subject: Gun ownership



You may have heard on the news about a southern California man
put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found
he owned 100 guns and allegedly had (by rough estimate)
1-million rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also
featured a secret escape tunnel.

My favorite quote from the dimwit television reporter: "Wow! He has
about a million machine gun bullets." The headline referred to it
as a "massive" weapons cache.

By southern California standards someone even owning
100,000 rounds would be called "mentally unstable". Just imagine if
he lived elsewhere:

In Arizona , he'd be called "an avid gun collector".

In Arkansas , he'd be called "a novice gun collector".

In Utah , he'd be called "moderately well prepared", but they'd
probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a
corresponding quantity of stored food.

In Montana , he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy".

In Idaho , he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate".

In Wyoming , he'd be called "an eligible bachelor".

And, in Texas , he'd be called a "deer hunting buddy".
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

02 Jan 2012   #124
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

In the states of New York and Massachusetts he would be serving a "Life" sentence for gun possession......after a trial of course.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jan 2012   #125
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Inner Peace

I'm passing this on because it worked for me today... A Dr on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start, & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jan 2012   #126
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Inner Peace

I'm passing this on because it worked for me today... A Dr on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start, & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.
Verry good THW
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jan 2012   #127
panais

Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Inner Peace

I'm passing this on because it worked for me today... A Dr on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start, & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jan 2012   #128
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.


Had to translate this to Finnish and post on our family forums.

Kari

(Finnish version:

Sisäinen rauha.

Jaan tämän kanssanne koska tämä toimii... Joku tohtori sanoi joskus että saavuttaaksemme sisäisen rauhan meidän tulisi aina saattaa päätökseen alottamamme asiat, ja voisimme siten rauhoittua elämässämme. Katsoin ympärilleni ajatellessani mitä olin viime aikoina aloittanut mutta en saattanut päätökseen. Niinpä saatoin päätökseen aloittamani pullon Laphroiagia, ja pullon LAgavulinia, jonkun rommipulson, låpåt kippuläkkket, vatsa altetum gäljakorpim jats pljomuuta.Teil eeol pikustakkk gäzizdyst kus hyvö mä tuntu nytte. Jaa täts keikul kus trvits säsäsäly rauhm.Jes.)
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jan 2012   #129
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Had to steal this and post it on another forum

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jan 2012   #130
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

HERE'S YOUR CHUCKLE FOR TODAY.....
One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'
The blonde said it was hers.
'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.
The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause
she's tied up under that shade tree.'
The policeman said, 'No! You don't
understand.
Your dog needs to be bred.'
'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin.'
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!'
You gotta love this: The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.'
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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