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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

04 Aug 2013   #1441
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by BrightBlessings View Post
A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
“If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs,
and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
The boy said, "Yes, she did”.

"Well then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time,
and ask her to explain that to you."
I want to hear the answer the mother gives explaining that.
I'v waited, waited,, then waited more..
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2013   #1442
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by BrightBlessings View Post
A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
“If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs,
and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
The boy said, "Yes, she did”.

"Well then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time,
and ask her to explain that to you."
I want to hear the answer the mother gives explaining that.
I'v waited, waited,, then waited more..
I would have expected you to be the one to know the answer. And no, it's not 42. The obvious answer is, "Ask your father."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2013   #1443
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 

Dear Lady I knew you would have a great answer.Was that you on the air plane?
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.

04 Aug 2013   #1444
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Nope. I had children of my own.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2013   #1445
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
Dear Lady I knew you would have a great answer.Was that you on the air plane?
@ at LBB... lol.. I can't tell you.. if I did, then I would have to kill you....;)
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2013   #1446
thudpucker

W-7 Home premium
 
 



Ole was turning 78 and was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

The doctor said, "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

When Ole returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs!

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

Ole nodded... "I'll tell you though, by God, I thought I wuz gonna drop dead on dat 3rd day."

"From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"Hell no, it wuz from all dat damn skippin!"









My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 Aug 2013   #1447
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

"Woman stops gator attack with a small Beretta pistol."

This is a story of self control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself?

A Beretta Jetfire testimonial.
Here is her story:

While out walking along the edge of a bayou just below Houma, Louisiana with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator suddenly emerging from the murky water and charging us with its large jaws wide open.
She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. It's one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus ... the amount I saved in lawyer's fees was worth more than the purchase price of this gun.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 Aug 2013   #1448
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 

No funeral needed either. That should of saved a lot of money.
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05 Aug 2013   #1449
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Plus evidence of the pistol shot would have been obliterated.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 Aug 2013   #1450
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

I use to party in Houma, LA when I was young. You got to watch out for those Cajun women, they are armed.

Jim
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