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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

05 Nov 2013   #1681
Microsoft MVP

Windows 7 Ultimate X64 SP1
 
 

Unfortunately I haven't forgot him yet.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
07 Nov 2013   #1682

Windows 8.1.1 64bit
 
 

Grandma's Pie

Granny Adams made such beautiful pies! One day, I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?"

"Well, it's a family secret," she said. "But if you promise not to tell, I'll let you in on it."

"Okay," I said. "Tell me!"

"Well, first, I roll out the dough, making sure it is flat and even. Then I cut out the bottom layer and carefully put in the pie plate and make sure it is firmly against the sides of the plate.

Then I slowly pour in the filling, making sure it's not too full.

Next, I cut out the top layer and carefully put it over the filling.

Finally, I take out my teeth and just run them around the edge of the pie crust and they make the nicest even impressions you ever did see!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
07 Nov 2013   #1683

Windows 7 Pro x64 SP1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by COMPUTIAC View Post
Grandma's Pie

Granny Adams made such beautiful pies! One day, I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?"

"Well, it's a family secret," she said. "But if you promise not to tell, I'll let you in on it."

"Okay," I said. "Tell me!"

"Well, first, I roll out the dough, making sure it is flat and even. Then I cut out the bottom layer and carefully put in the pie plate and make sure it is firmly against the sides of the plate.

Then I slowly pour in the filling, making sure it's not too full.

Next, I cut out the top layer and carefully put it over the filling.

Finally, I take out my teeth and just run them around the edge of the pie crust and they make the nicest even impressions you ever did see!"
How did you find out how my granma put the nice edge on her pies.

Rich
My System SpecsSystem Spec
07 Nov 2013   #1684

Windows 8.1.1 64bit
 
 

I'm guessing they add the extra special flavoring.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
07 Nov 2013   #1685

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

EW!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
07 Nov 2013   #1686

W-7 Home premium
 
 

What ever happened to the kings thumb?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Nov 2013   #1687

Windows 8.1.1 64bit
 
 

The Fight


Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie, the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one. I just had another fight with the little woman."


"Oh yeah?" said Charlie. "And how did this one end?"


"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees."


"Really?" said Charles. "Now, that's a switch! What did she say?"


She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Nov 2013   #1688

Windows 7 Pro x64 SP1
 
 

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she if OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house..

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said...


"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS." Rich
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Nov 2013   #1689

Windows 8.1.1 64bit
 
 

What Not To Say In A Job Interview

There was a man who was injured in a horrible accident, but the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this unusual handicap, he was very self-conscious.

Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small but expanding computer firm. However, he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates and interviewed each of them. The first interview went really well. He liked the guy. His last question for this candidate was, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"


The guy said, "Now that you mention it, you have no ears." The man got really upset and threw the guy out.


The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better. Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"


This guy also noted, "Yes, you have no ears." The man was really upset again, and threw the second candidate out.


Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"


The guy replied, "Yeah, you're wearing contact lenses."


Surprised, he asked, "Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?"


The guy burst out laughing and said, "Well, You can't wear glasses if you don't have any ears!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
16 Nov 2013   #1690

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there.

After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS."

The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and that he would look for it.

The following week after the service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read,...

"...And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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