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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

01 Jan 2014   #1771
COMPUTIAC

Windows 8.1.1 64bit
 
 

A New Year Prayer for the Elderly

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,

The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,

And the eyesight to tell the difference.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2014   #1772
COMPUTIAC

Windows 8.1.1 64bit
 
 

Resolutions You Can Keep

1.) Gain at least 30 pounds.

2.) Read less.

3.) Stop exercising. It's a waste of time.

4.) Watch more TV.

5.) Procrastinate more.

6.) Start being superstitious.

7.) Spend more time at work.

8.) Stop bring lunch from home and eat out more.

9.) Sleep more.

10.) Start a new bad habit.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Jan 2014   #1773
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 

New year resolution.

Do the same as the year before and see if you get the same results.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

01 Jan 2014   #1774
COMPUTIAC

Windows 8.1.1 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
New year resolution.

Do the same as the year before and see if you get the same results.
It would be a good idea, if I could remember what it was.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Jan 2014   #1775
Dinesh

Windows® 8 Pro (64-bit)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by COMPUTIAC View Post
Resolutions You Can Keep

1.) Gain at least 30 pounds.

2.) Read less.

3.) Stop exercising. It's a waste of time.

4.) Watch more TV.

5.) Procrastinate more.

6.) Start being superstitious.

7.) Spend more time at work.

8.) Stop bring lunch from home and eat out more.

9.) Sleep more.

10.) Start a new bad habit.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Jan 2014   #1776
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

I've kept only one resolution: I resolve to stop making resolutions.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Jan 2014   #1777
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Lady Fitzgerald View Post
I've kept only one resolution: I resolve to stop making resolutions.
You made a resolution to stop making resolutions.
Years ago when working for ATT they formed a committee to look at all the forms we used and wanted to eliminate outdated forms. Their first act was to create a new form to tell them what forms were not needed.

Jim
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Jan 2014   #1778
richnrockville

Windows 7 Pro x64 SP1
 
 

I found this on another site and Hope that it is not to raw for this forum.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices
the guy has a very large Bic cigarette lighter.

The first guy says "Wow, that's a huge lighter...where did you get it?"
The guy replies "A genie from this bottle granted me one wish."

"Great, can I try it?" ...

"Sure."

The first guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears. "You are granted one wish" says the genie.

The guy says, "I want a million bucks!"
"Done" says the genie and disappears.

A few minutes go by and suddenly the bar door swings open and pouring in come ducks.
Thousands and thousands of ducks falling all over each other through the bar door.

"I can't believe this," says the guy who had just placed his wish, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"

The second guy then says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch Bic?"

rich
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Jan 2014   #1779
jadinolf

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by richnrockville View Post
i found this on another site and hope that it is not to raw for this forum.

a guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices
the guy has a very large bic cigarette lighter.

The first guy says "wow, that's a huge lighter...where did you get it?"
the guy replies "a genie from this bottle granted me one wish."

"great, can i try it?" ...

"sure."

the first guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears. "you are granted one wish" says the genie.

The guy says, "i want a million bucks!"
"done" says the genie and disappears.

A few minutes go by and suddenly the bar door swings open and pouring in come ducks.
Thousands and thousands of ducks falling all over each other through the bar door.

"i can't believe this," says the guy who had just placed his wish, "i asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"

the second guy then says, "do you really think i wished for a 12 inch bic?"

rich
good one!!:d:d:d:d
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Jan 2014   #1780
ICIT2LOL

Desk1 7 Home Prem / Desk2 10 Pro / Main lap Asus ROG 10 Pro 2 laptop Toshiba 7 Pro Asus P2520 7 & 10
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by COMPUTIAC View Post
Resolutions You Can Keep

1.) Gain at least 30 pounds.

2.) Read less.

3.) Stop exercising. It's a waste of time.

4.) Watch more TV.

5.) Procrastinate more.

6.) Start being superstitious.

7.) Spend more time at work.

8.) Stop bring lunch from home and eat out more.

9.) Sleep more.

10.) Start a new bad habit.
Like that and the best part about senility is you get to meet new people every day
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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