Windows 7 Forums

Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

08 Jan 2014   #1791
UsernameIssues

W7 Pro SP1 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by COMPUTIAC View Post
Desert Island

~~~

Then the girl says, "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?"

Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there, too...!"
She was teed off :-)
My System SpecsSystem Spec
08 Jan 2014   #1792
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

How does a golfer protect himself during a lightning storm?

Holds a 2 iron over his head.

Even God can't hit a 2 iron.

Jim
My System SpecsSystem Spec
08 Jan 2014   #1793
thudpucker

W-7 Home premium
 
 

When it reached -20 outside and the wind was blowing constantly, all her husband could do was stare at the window.

She thought: "If it get's any colder, she might let the Drunkun Bum inside!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

09 Jan 2014   #1794
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cops expense!!

Irish cop says,"License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Irish cop says,"Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please"

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop,that's the law. License and registration,please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living sh*t out of the lawyer and says, "Daeye want me to stop, or just slow doon?"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
09 Jan 2014   #1795
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cops expense!!

Irish cop says,"License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Irish cop says,"Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please"

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop,that's the law. License and registration,please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living sh*t out of the lawyer and says, "Daeye want me to stop, or just slow doon?"
Curious. An Irish cop with a Scottish accent.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
09 Jan 2014   #1796
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

The Editor was Scottish


Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Lady Fitzgerald View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cops expense!!

Irish cop says,"License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Irish cop says,"Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please"

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop,that's the law. License and registration,please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living sh*t out of the lawyer and says, "Daeye want me to stop, or just slow doon?"
Curious. An Irish cop with a Scottish accent.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
09 Jan 2014   #1797
COMPUTIAC

Windows 8.1.1 64bit
 
 

Red Light Runner

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Jan 2014   #1798
Britton30
Microsoft MVP

Windows 7 Ultimate X64 SP1
 
 

At Penn State University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Penn State until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.

The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thought this was going to be easy .... then they turned the page. On the second page was written...





For 95 points: Which tire? _________
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Jan 2014   #1799
thudpucker

W-7 Home premium
 
 

Early one morning, an elderly retired gentleman yelled to his wife....
"Honey....! Come see what I created....!
It's an 'abstract panorama' depicting the five years of the Obama presidency!"

She yelled back, "Flush the damn toilet and come eat your breakfast."

My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Jan 2014   #1800
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Curious how people forget that much of the mess Obama is having to deal with is a result of the previous administration.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread 2
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 22:06.

Twitter Facebook Google+



Windows 7 Forums

Seven Forums Android App Seven Forums IOS App