Windows 7 Forums

Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

04 Nov 2011   #31
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Subject: History Of The Middle Finger

I am so much more in the know than I was, so interesting. I never knew this before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English archers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the
longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Nov 2011   #32
Bongo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 7 Pro x64 / Win 10 Pro
 
 

Apple Family
Jokes Thread [3]-image001.jpg


My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Nov 2011   #33
richnrockville

Windows 7 Pro x64 SP1
 
 

This is terrible but funny.
Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds,
20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.
The big guy says: "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"
The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers
to the questions everyone always asks me.....
I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles
weighs 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."
The small guy says: "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around "
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

11 Nov 2011   #34
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Places I've been : Observation



I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump , and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Nov 2011   #35
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Good one M'Lady

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Nov 2011   #36
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Football and the Blonde

Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be one the best -- because it makes football make sense!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Nov 2011   #37
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Nov 2011   #38
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by seavixen32 View Post
WOW Dennis this is one of the best all time blonde jokes.. lol
My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Nov 2011   #39
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by seavixen32 View Post
WOW Dennis this is one of the best all time blonde jokes.. lol

How to give a quarterback.........................2 dimes and a nickel!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Nov 2011   #40
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

This is the new Miss Kentucky and the picture that will stay with her for the rest of her life:
Make-up and hair style ................... $500
New dress for the show ................$700
Giant stuffed bear ........................... $300

Not knowing how to hold the bear with a microphone in her hand.......Priceless!!!


Attached Thumbnails
Jokes Thread [3]-priceless.png  
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread 2
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 14:15.

Twitter Facebook Google+



Windows 7 Forums

Seven Forums Android App Seven Forums IOS App