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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

18 Apr 2012   #431
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Maguscreed View Post
"Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
PFFBAHAHAHAHAHA! Best cop and old bloke joke i've ever heard!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Apr 2012   #432
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dinesh View Post

I have been happily married for 1 year and expecting it to last till my death. Oh, all my money goes to Bill & Melinda Trust.
I don't know this Melinda Trust, but I can settle for half Happy Anniversary Dinesh

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Apr 2012   #433
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
You are correct. Money and Power are more important.

With Money and Power you get Sex.
Jim
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

18 Apr 2012   #434
profdlp

Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
I must agree. There are times when you'd just as soon sit on the couch and watch a ballgame.

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dinesh View Post

I have been happily married for 1 year and expecting it to last till my death. Oh, all my money goes to Bill & Melinda Trust.
I don't know this Melinda Trust, but I can settle for half Happy Anniversary Dinesh

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Apr 2012   #435
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Phone Man View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
You are correct. Money and Power are more important.

With Money and Power you get Sex.
Jim

LOL hahahah.. only YOU would know Jim.. that's a riot from you...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Apr 2012   #436
Thorsen

Win7 Home Premium 64x
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
You are right

Sex is not the answer.

Sex is the question.... yes is the answer
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Apr 2012   #437
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Thorsen View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
You are right

Sex is not the answer.

Sex is the question.... yes is the answer
That seems vaguely familiar in a past life... once upon a time... in a galaxy far, far away... maybe???

...or was it the outer limits of the twilight zone???
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Apr 2012   #438
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Hopalong X View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Thorsen View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
SEX is NOT the Answers to everything !!!.. NO matter what guys think.
You are right

Sex is not the answer.

Sex is the question.... yes is the answer
That seems vaguely familiar in a past life... once upon a time... in a galaxy far, far away... maybe???

...or was it the outer limits of the twilight zone???

For you Hoppy that was Light Years Ago!
THW
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Apr 2012   #439
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

More years ago than I care to remember I wrote out a job application form.

The first question was Name? so I wrote in my name.

The second question was Sex? so I wrote in Yes, please.

I didn't get the job and can't figure out why.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Apr 2012   #440
tommcgtx

MS Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit SP1
 
 
My Two Brothers

Someone at work circulated this one in e-mail. I didn't save it, so I found it on the internet


An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?"
The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.
Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.

Then one week he came in and ordered only two.
He drank them and then ordered two more.
The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."
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