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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

23 May 2012   #531
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

PRICELESS !!!!

Does it bother anyone else when someone is on their cell phone and conducts very personal calls that you really don't want to hear but are trapped into listening? You'll enjoy this one.
After a busy day, and just as everyone was settling down for a nap on the train for home, a man sitting in the midst hauled out his cell phone and started up a loud, lengthy conversation. "Hi darling, it's Bob. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the 6:30 not the 4:30, but I had a long meeting.No, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss.
No, darling, you're the only one in my life.Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah . . .
" When this went on more than 15 minutes, a young woman sitting opposite him, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice,"Hey, Bob! Turn off that phone and come back to bed!“
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 May 2012   #532
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

...Bob arrived home but was never heard from again.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 May 2012   #533
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
.


24 May 2012   #534
MWRed

Windows 7 Home Premium
 
 

Lmao.....poor Bob
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 May 2012   #535
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

I once called Steven Hawkings house
'Hello. This. Is. Steven. Hawkings.'
'Yes I would like to leave a message'
'No. This. IS. Steven. Hawkings'

Edit: and another one!

My Guinea Pig passed away, he died at the wheel
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 May 2012   #536
tommcgtx

MS Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit SP1
 
 
Robot for sale

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that day.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork."

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?

"Son says, "Toy Story."

The robot slaps the son. Son says,

"Ok, Ok we were watching porn."

Dad says,"What?

At your age I didn't even know what porn was!"

The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says,"Well he certainly is your son!"

The robot slaps the mother!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 May 2012   #537
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

For Pebbly, Joan and LPt!

My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 May 2012   #538
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

Also for Pebbly, LPT and Joan:

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you flaming idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her bloody husband!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 May 2012   #539
FaberTech

Windows 7 x64 / Windows Server 2008 / Linux (Redhat & Deb distros) / OS X / More
 
 

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar.



The bar tender asks...


"Why the long face?"



My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 May 2012   #540
Joan Archer

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 32 bit/Windows 10 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Hopalong X View Post
For Pebbly, Joan and LPt!

My System SpecsSystem Spec
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