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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

10 Jun 2012   #631
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side

Bazinga!

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Jun 2012   #632
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side

Bazinga!

A Guy
Deja vu all over again.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Jun 2012   #633
Trucidation

 

Now Hiring

Murphy, O’Shea & Mullligan go for a job on a building site, but have been told beforehand that the foreman is a racist prick who dislikes the Irish.

Murphy suggest to the other two that they give English sounding names.

O’Shea goes in first. The foreman immediately asks him his name; O'Shea looks out window & sees a Woolworth store. "My name is F W Woolworth!"

"Get out!" shouts the foreman, not fooled by the obvious.

Mulligan goes in - same question, he also looks out window and sees a shoe shop. "My name is Freeman Hardy Willis!"

"Get out!" shouts the foreman, getting angrier.

Murphy is last in. The now-exasperated foreman asks "And what’s your name?"

Murphy has good look out of window and replies "Ken".

The foreman gets a look of relief on his face. "Thank Christ for that," he says. "But I need your full name. Ken who?"

"Tuckey Fried Chicken," says Murphy.

The resulting angry roar could be heard a block away.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

11 Jun 2012   #634
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side

Bazinga!

A Guy
Man, Deja Vu...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Jun 2012   #635
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

If you smoke a lot of pot you may never become a rocket scientist... or maybe. If you've seen what's going on these days with NASA, maybe you can.
OK, The Mars Lander right? I did the calculations in feet... but i programmed the lander in metres. OOPS! So instead of landing, ****er buried! A hundred and eighty five million dollars WOOPSEE! Two years, SPLAT!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Jun 2012   #636
Trucidation

 

The Irish attempt on Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: they ran out of scaffolding.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Jun 2012   #637
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Jun 2012   #638
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Trucidation View Post
The Irish attempt on Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: they ran out of scaffolding.
A sad tale indeed. They ran out of Guinness kegs to empty and stack.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Jun 2012   #639
Trucidation

 

The Divorce

"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?"

"Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport."

The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?"

"No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "I'm always first out of bed."

Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "Well, does he go in for unnatural connubial practices?"

"Shure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything about the connubial."

Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on. "What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have."

"Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds."

"Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you need a reason that the court can consider. What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?"

"Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."

ಠ_ಠ
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Jun 2012   #640
Joan Archer

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 32 bit/Windows 10 64bit
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
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