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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

14 Jun 2012   #661
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

The Saskatchewan Salesman

Aaron Shapiro from Saskatchewan moves to Vancouver and goes to a big 'everything under one roof' department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?'

The kid says 'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Saskatchewan.'

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did.'

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?"

'Just one' says the kid.

The boss says 'Just one? Our salespeople average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?'

The kid says "$101,237.65".

The boss says '$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?'

The kid says,'First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.'

The boss said 'A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?'

The kid said 'No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife', and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing.'


And that's how it's done.....
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jun 2012   #662
Trucidation

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by marsmimar View Post
My apologies to all. But Borg made me do it!
10/10, would cringe again. Thumbs up!

High Technology

Three men: an American, a Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear and answered a call. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone - I have a microchip in my hand."

Paddy felt left out - but not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his arse.

The others raised their eyebrows.

"Huh, will you look at that," says Paddy, "I'm getting a fax."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jun 2012   #663
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

------------------

Trucidation
Sister Complex


----------------
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

14 Jun 2012   #664
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

dyingjedi
Banned

Dying jedi, hmm? I think, a dead jedi, is he.
Yoda
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Jun 2012   #665
Trucidation

 

The problem with incest is that it gets you involved with relatives.

>______>


Pro:
- No need to change surname after the marriage
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Jun 2012   #666
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by marsmimar View Post
My apologies to all. But Borg made me do it!
Whaaa? This is my fault? Fine! This is the last time I try to be punny.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Jun 2012   #667
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by marsmimar View Post
My apologies to all. But Borg made me do it!
Whaaa? This is my fault? Fine! This is the last time I try to be punny.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Borg

We always get the blame.
We don't even have to have the PC on and we get blamed.

No respect, I tell you no respect.
Just change our surname to Dangerfield.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Jun 2012   #668
BugMeister

Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Jun 2012   #669
cyclic

Windows 7 home premium x64
 
 

Borg, surely you mean dyslexics of the world untie !
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Jun 2012   #670
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

yes, you can find info at www.lysdexics.moc
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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