Windows 7 Forums

Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

21 Jun 2012   #691
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 Jun 2012   #692
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.

She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'

He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.

For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.

I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?'

She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'

Jim
My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 Jun 2012   #693
Trucidation

 

Jokes Thread [3]-haircut_arrest.jpg

...what.


My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

23 Jun 2012   #694
Wandering one

Win7 sp1 Pro 64bit / XP sp2 Pro (games only)
 
 
Two drops please

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says,"I would like to buy you a drink, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming up," says the bartender.

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"

The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue

Cut&paste from an RV forum Art.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jun 2012   #695
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Jun 2012   #696
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Almost as poetic as Romeo and Juliet.


Attached Thumbnails
Jokes Thread [3]-redneck-love-poem.png  
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Jun 2012   #697
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

Heart touching and sort of brings a tear to your eye...
---
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
---
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Jun 2012   #698
beauparc

Windows 7 64 bit
 
 

Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs.

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?' '
'Of course child. What may I do for you?'
'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it
under your Robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first.
The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?
'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next please!'

Found on another forum
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Jun 2012   #699
beauparc

Windows 7 64 bit
 
 

In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and e-mails have long forgotten the art of capital letters.

For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."



Is everybody clear on that?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Jun 2012   #700
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by beauparc View Post

Is everybody clear on that?
5% of us are clear.

25%- Clear on what?

25%- Who is Uncle Jack?

25%- My uncle has a horse named Jack?

20%- Someone fell off a horse?

My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread 2
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 22:06.

Twitter Facebook Google+



Windows 7 Forums

Seven Forums Android App Seven Forums IOS App