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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

05 Jul 2012   #721
solarmystic

Windows 7 x64 Professional SP1
 
 

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.

Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.

The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.

She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

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06 Jul 2012   #722
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by solarmystic View Post
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.

Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.

The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.

She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

best joke I've heard in years xD
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06 Jul 2012   #723
solarmystic

Windows 7 x64 Professional SP1
 
 
Feline Physics Laws...

Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction

A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
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.

06 Jul 2012   #724
Wandering one

Win7 sp1 Pro 64bit / XP sp2 Pro (games only)
 
 

And you might add one more under "Cat owners"

Cats do not have owners ....... Cats have STAFF !

Art.
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06 Jul 2012   #725
solarmystic

Windows 7 x64 Professional SP1
 
 
Feline Physics Laws continued....

Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration


No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance


A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation


Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation


Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation


If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction


Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking


A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

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06 Jul 2012   #726
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 

Sounds like my cat. Law of Electricity.
Cats will claw you if when they are laying on your lap static electricity is created.
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06 Jul 2012   #727
Trucidation

 

You know those styrofoam packaging peanut thingies used to pad boxes?

1. Abduct neighbour's cat
2. Rub cat vigorously
3. Pour those styrofoam peanuts over cat
4. ????
5. PROFIT

Jokes Thread [3]-cat_styrofoam.jpg

Neighbour: *shakes container of cat food* "Here kitty, kit-- OH MY GOD"


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06 Jul 2012   #728
F5ing

Windows 7 Ultimate x64
 
 

Check out that cat's face. Is he sporting that "What the f---?" look?
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06 Jul 2012   #729
solarmystic

Windows 7 x64 Professional SP1
 
 

Trucidation's procedures and subsequent observations are a validation of Layback Bear's Cat Law of Electricity.

*Added into the upcoming continuation of Feline Physics Laws...*
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06 Jul 2012   #730
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Anyone want to play the peanut game with me? Meow?

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