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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

12 Jul 2012   #771
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 

Honestly, quite a distasteful method to increase the post count, I have to say.

Kari
My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Jul 2012   #772
Trucidation

 

Eh, I thought they didn't go up in here.

-
A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees another guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a very small head. Curious, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body but such a small head?"

The guy replied, "Well, I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her."

"For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,000."

"For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the water near the beach was a 90-foot yacht."

"Finally for my third wish, I wanted to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in those kind of activities." So, I said, "How about a little head?"

My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Jul 2012   #773
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Kari View Post
Honestly, quite a distasteful method to increase the post count, I have to say.

Kari
It is an Olympics year and everyone is going for the gold.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

13 Jul 2012   #774
BlackSparrow

Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Hopalong X View Post
It is an Olympics year and everyone is going for the gold.
Well, not exactly everyone...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jul 2012   #775
Tekno Venus

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit (O.E.M)
 
 

A joke from my friend:

Congratulations Major Panic, you're being promoted!

(Think Unix/Linux)
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jul 2012   #776
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 

Today we use more money for Viagra and silicon implants than for Alzheimer research.

This means that in about 30 years from now we all have giant erections and huge tits but we do not remember why.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jul 2012   #777
solarmystic

Windows 7 x64 Professional SP1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Kari View Post
Today we use more money for Viagra and silicon implants than for Alzheimer research.

This means that in about 30 years from now we all have giant erections and huge tits but we do not remember why.
Idiocracy (2006) - IMDb

Watch this, and have that sinking feeling that the future you suggested isn't very far off at our current rate of decay.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jul 2012   #778
solarmystic

Windows 7 x64 Professional SP1
 
 
A burglar is in big trouble

A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business.

"I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"

"So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!"

To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Jul 2012   #779
indianacarnie

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Are we seeing history making a full circle ?

This cartoon was in the Chicago Tribune in 1934.
Look carefully at the plan of action in the lower left corner.
Attachment 216535

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."
So We return to yesteryear.. We didn't learn the history lesson
Just shows me that "conservatives" haven't changed their rhetoric in 78 years!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Jul 2012   #780
F5ing

Windows 7 Ultimate x64
 
 

Conservative or not, you've got to be amazed at how accurate it is even through to today.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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