Windows 7 Forums

Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

20 Jul 2012   #791
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

It is worth a new run for the "youngsters".
My System SpecsSystem Spec
21 Jul 2012   #792
BugMeister

Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547
 
 

a cannibal is eating a comedian..
- suddenly he stops and says, "This tastes funny.."

My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jul 2012   #793
marsmimar

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 
 

A jungle explorer was in a pot of boiling water. Two cannibal children were
playing catch with him.

The mother yells at the children: "How many times have I told you . . . stop
playing with your food??!!?"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

28 Jul 2012   #794
arizonajack

Windows 7 Professional 64 bit Service Pack 1
 
 

There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explains the trial to him-you have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten.

The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...but on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"

The second one replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
28 Jul 2012   #795
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

A blond calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"

"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"

"Well,I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."

"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."

"It's a big rooster," she said.

The husband arrives home and tells his wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jul 2012   #796
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

A chemist walks back into his shop after a short break and sees a man leaning against the wall.

"What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant

"He came in for cough syrup but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives" replied the assistant.

"You f----kn idiot" exclaims the chemist, "you can't treat a cough with laxatives"

"Of course you can" replies the assistant, "look at him, he's too f---kn scared to cough"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jul 2012   #797
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Two IRISHMEN were looking at a mail order catalogue and admiring the models.
One says to the other,
'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?'
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful.
And look at the price!'


The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'


The second one smiles and pats him on the back.
'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful
as she is in the catalogue, I will get one too.'


Three weeks later the youngest IRISHMAN asks his pal, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the catalogue?'


The second IRISHMAN replies......
'No, but it shouldn't be long now. She sent all her clothes yesterday’
My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jul 2012   #798
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

After landing my new job as a B&Q greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ......About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly

unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.


I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Don't be effing stupid. Of course they aren't twins.

The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind,

or just stupid?"


I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone sh****d you twice.

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at B&Q."

My Supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jul 2012   #799
arizonajack

Windows 7 Professional 64 bit Service Pack 1
 
 

Warning: Dirty Joke Ahead


Top 10 things WOMEN would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day:

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal about sports, cars and money.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch/shift yourself in public without thought to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
31 Jul 2012   #800
jadinolf

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Funny and Geeky Cool Pics [2]

A Guy

A Guy,
I am always a day late and a dollar short.........that's what happens when you get
up there in years like me....
You mean I have that to look forward to?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread 2
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 22:06.

Twitter Facebook Google+



Windows 7 Forums

Seven Forums Android App Seven Forums IOS App