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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

31 Jul 2012   #801
Trucidation

 

Worst date ever: Girl goes on date, ends up as getaway driver for robbery

Facebook date used me for raid | The Sun |News
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02 Aug 2012   #802
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

One Stone
The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle

and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that

name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally

cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone

again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called

him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird

forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He

jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into</ span>

the forest where he made love to her all day and

all night. He made love to her all the next day,

until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what

he promised he would do. Years went by and no

one dared call him by his given name until A woman

named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being

away. Yellow Bird , who wasBlue Bird's cousin, was

overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him

and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,

then he made love to her all day, made love to her all

night, made love to her all the next day, made love to

her all the next night, butYellow Bird wouldn't die!













Why ???













OH, come on... take a guess !!!












Think about it !!!













You're going to love this !!!













Everyone knows...



You can't kill Two Birds




with OneStone!!!

Attachment 224486
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02 Aug 2012   #803
jadinolf

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ladypinktomato1 View Post
one stone
the indian with one testicle

there once was an indian who had only one testicle

and whose given name was 'onestone'. He hated that

name and asked everyone not to call him onestone.

After years and years of torment, onestone finally

cracked and said,' if anyone calls me onestone

again i will kill them!'

the word got around and nobody called

him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named blue bird

forgot and said, 'good morning, onestone.' he

jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into</ span>

the forest where he made love to her all day and

all night. He made love to her all the next day,

until blue bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that onestone meant what

he promised he would do. Years went by and no

one dared call him by his given name until a woman

named yellow bird returned to the village after being

away. Yellow bird , who wasblue bird's cousin, was

overjoyed when she saw onestone. She hugged him

and said, 'good to see you, onestone.'

onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,

then he made love to her all day, made love to her all

night, made love to her all the next day, made love to

her all the next night, butyellow bird wouldn't die!













why ???













oh, come on... Take a guess !!!












think about it !!!













You're going to love this !!!













everyone knows...



you can't kill two birds




with onestone!!!

Attachment 224486
groan.......................
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.

02 Aug 2012   #804
Joan Archer

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 32 bit/Windows 10 64bit
 
 

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02 Aug 2012   #805
jadinolf

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by joan archer View Post
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04 Aug 2012   #806
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Joe gm.. here's the naughty girls Sig... lol
Attachment 224772
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04 Aug 2012   #807
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Tough-Harley-Guy Legend...
On January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either, so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!!!
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04 Aug 2012   #808
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Devil in Church
People were in their pews talking at church.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that
God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't" said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill with a word?" asked Satan.

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

"Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 44 years."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2012   #809
jadinolf

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ladypinktomato1 View Post
tough-harley-guy legend...
on january 9th, a group of pekin, illinois bikers were riding west on i-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the murray baker bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the state trooper, and says, "what are you doing?"

she says, "i'm going to commit suicide."

while he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either, so he asked "well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

so, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After they finished, george gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the state trooper, and says, "wow! That was the best kiss i have ever had honey! That's a real talent you're wasting sugar shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"my parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

it's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!!!
:d:d:d:d:d:d:d:d:d:d:d
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2012   #810
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Three men are captured by female savages and are told their appendages would be removed in a manner appropiate to their jobs . The first was a lumberjack so his would be chopped off. The second was a butcher so his would be sliced off. The third man started laughing . The female savages asked what was so funny ? He replied " I work for Electrolux !"
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