Windows 7 Forums

Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread [3]

04 Aug 2012   #811
Dinesh

Windows® 8 Pro (64-bit)
 
 

The Onestone joke was a very big PJ.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2012   #812
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
Attachment 224832

-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10


2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10


3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8


4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8


5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynn ette, age 8
(isn't she a treasure)

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10


6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

-When they're rich.
-- Pam , age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8


7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )


8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is.......


9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

CHA-CHING !!!.. this is the best of ALL.

10. Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2012   #813
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 

Ladypink that is a great find. Thanks.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

04 Aug 2012   #814
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Lol, good one M'Lady

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 Aug 2012   #815
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Thanks guys.. I sat here laughing out loud.. so thought you all would like this also.
I just never thought about a woman looking like a Dump Truck !!!..
Kids can come up with the darndest comments.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
08 Aug 2012   #816
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

UK CLASSIFIED ADS

You have to love British humor!
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. newspaper:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little *******.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker.

Billy Connolly -
"If women are so bloody perfect at multi-tasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
08 Aug 2012   #817
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

The wife always says she has a headache when I want sex.
One night I brought her an aspirin and a class of water.
She said. "I don't want that, I don't have a headache"



Jim
My System SpecsSystem Spec
09 Aug 2012   #818
BugMeister

Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547
 
 



- boring..!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Aug 2012   #819
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Olympic Humor

Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . . . Oh my God, what have I just said?"

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Aug 2012   #820
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

OHHH Jim you can't win for losing.. lol.....
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread 2
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 14:16.

Twitter Facebook Google+



Windows 7 Forums

Seven Forums Android App Seven Forums IOS App