Heres my newest idea.... thanks if it works:
As sole-proprietor of a computer repair/sales LLC., I have decided to officially announce a new, cutting-edge procedure that we will be offering, at a reasonable rate by experts of this new and growing field: (...you must know where I'm going w/this by now...)
: for a limited time the procedure will be mere $149 (addl.$25 for M2F as we do not prefer to endorse such "questionably ethical practices") It is a daysurgery, taking no longer than 24hrs (although technically it takes 20-30 seconds), and complications are minimal (for the "patient")
questions? (555) 555-5555
Dr. Mike, et. al.