Windows 7: Some Southern Drawl Words Translated

HEIDI – (noun) – Greeting.
HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage “Heidi, Hire yew?”
BARD – (verb) – Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow. “Usage “My brother bard my pickup truck.”
JAWJUH – (noun) – The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.”
BAMMER – (noun) – The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements.”
MUNTS – (noun) – A calendar division. Usage “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”
THANK – (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”
BARE – (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”
IGNERT – (adjective) – Not smart. See “Arkansas native.” Usage “Them bammer boys sure are ignert!”
RANCH – (noun) – A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts. Usage “I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”
ALL – (noun) – A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”
FAR – (noun) – A conflagration. Usage “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that thing’s gonna catch far.”
TAR – (noun) – A rubber wheel. Usage “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.”
TIRE – (noun) – A tall monument. Usage “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.”
RETARD – (verb) – To stop working. Usage “My grampaw retard at age 65.”
FAT – (noun), (verb) – a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage “You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh.”
RATS – (noun) – Entitled power or privilege. Usage “We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats.”
CHEER – (adverb) In this place. Usage “Just set that bare rat cheer.”
FARN – (adjective) – Not domestic. Usage “I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed … must be from some farn country.”
DID – (adjective) – Not alive. Usage “He’s did, Jim.”
ARE – (noun) – A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage “He cain’t breathe…give ‘im some ARE!”
BOB WAR – (noun) – A sharp, twisted cable. Usage “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”
JEW HERE – (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?”
HAZE – a contraction. Usage “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah…haze ignert. He ain’t thanked but a minnit’n ‘is laf.”
SEED – (verb) – past tense of “to see”.
VIEW – contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage “I ain’t never seed New York City … view?”
GUBMINT – (noun) – A bureaucratic institution. Usage “Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.”

Apologies to all y'all Southern folks, but these definitions were very FUNNY!!!

A classic Australian put-down, that I use a lot at work:

"You should talk a lot less : you sound like a skeleton having a **** in an empty biscuit tin"

Nah mate, the best one for government officials is:

"If you must talk out of your arse, at least have the decency to stand up.....I simply cannot abide mumbling"