Windows 7 Forums
Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Can someone critique my letter?

16 Mar 2012   #1

Windows 2000 5.0 Build 2195
 
 
Can someone critique my letter?

Hi guys! XD I'm writing a letter to our dean because of matters you'll find out when you read the letter. While I was told that the dean is not known to turn down these kinds of requests, ever, I just want to be sure. Are there any mistakes here that I should brush out? Lots of thanks!

Quote:
Dear Sir,

I am writing you about a conflict with my studies and orders (attached) that were given to me by the U.S. Army, and that I am requesting to be administratively dropped from my courses.

I was recently informed that I am to go to school in Fort Stewart, Georgia this coming April # where I am scheduled to be in training until at least May # which, by that time, school should have already ended.

With the advice of one of my professors, and because of the burden this would cost me, I have concluded that an Incomplete (I) would be too much for me due to the time I would have lost in between my studies and that I should opt for a withdrawal. However, a normal withdrawal might have undesired repercussions brought to me and my financial aid because of matters beyond my control.

I am hoping and I thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
My System SpecsSystem Spec
16 Mar 2012   #2

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

The letter is fine as is, but I'll offer some small changes to hopefully make it flow better.

Quote:
Dear Sir,

I am writing you about a conflict with my studies and my orders (attached) that were given to me by the U.S. Army. And I am requesting to be administratively dropped from my courses.

I was recently informed that I am to go to school in Fort Stewart, Georgia this coming April # where I am scheduled to be in training until at least May # by which time, school will have already ended.

One of my professors has advised me that an Incomplete (I) would not be desireable for me, and that due to the time I would have lost in between my studies, that I would be better served to opt for a withdrawal.

However, a normal withdrawal might have undesired repercussions on me, and my financial aid, because of matters beyond my control.

I am hoping, and I thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Mar 2012   #3

Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
 
 

A few additions to underscore the fact that you don't really have any choice in the matter, along with a few grammar tweaks:

Quote:
Dear Sir,

I am writing you concerning a conflict between my studies and new orders (attached) that were given to me by the U.S. Army. I am requesting to be administratively dropped from my courses.

I was recently informed that I have been ordered to report to Fort Stewart, Georgia this coming April. I am scheduled to be in training until at least May, by which time, school will have already ended.

One of my professors has advised me that an Incomplete (I) would not be desirable for me and that due to the time I will have lost in the interim I would be better served were I to opt for a withdrawal.

However, a normal withdrawal could well have undesired repercussions for me and my financial aid. As this matter is beyond my control, I am requesting an administrative withdrawal to protect both my student aid and my class standing.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Thanks for your service and good luck with the training assignment.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.


17 Mar 2012   #4
whs
Microsoft MVP

Vista, Windows7, Mint Mate, Zorin, Windows 8
 
 

To tell you the truth, I think there are too many words. Executives do not like to read long letters and e.g. the fact that there is an attachement does not have to be mentioned. He will see that anyhow. And you do not have to tell him that the matter is beyond your control. That is obvious. Here is my proposal:

Quote:
Dear Sir,

I need your permission for an administrative withdrawal from my courses.

I was ordered by the Army to report to Fort Stewart, GA by April, 1. This conflicts with my training curriculum which is scheduled at least until the end of May.

Since a normal withdrawal may have undesired repercussions for me and my financial aid, I am requesting an administrative withdrawal to protect both my student aid and my class standing.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Mar 2012   #5

Windows 2000 5.0 Build 2195
 
 

Thanks for the tip A Guy and profdlp! I have until tomorrow to give it so I will be taking your suggestions!

whs, I was thinking of making a very straight-to-the-point letter, but some examples I read were a bit "flowery". My mom did say I should be more direct. I think your version is what I'm looking for.

Anyway, thank you! Cheers
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Mar 2012   #6

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

I like whs's version too

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Mar 2012   #7

Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
 
 

I know when I was in the Navy, just about anyone viewed military orders as a slam dunk for requests like this.

Good luck!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Reply

Thread Tools



Similar help and support threads for2: Can someone critique my letter?
Thread Forum
changing one drive letter all 3 partitions change to that drive letter Hardware & Devices
Want to Assign a drive letter to a partitioned device but the letter i General Discussion
Solved Please critique my resignation letter! Chillout Room
Startup programs critique Performance & Maintenance
Open Critique for a Portfolio Chillout Room
Win7 as HTPC critique... General Discussion
Solved Can't change hard drive letter to needed letter General Discussion

Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:31 PM.
Twitter Facebook Google+



Windows 7 Forums

Seven Forums Android App Seven Forums IOS App
  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33