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Windows 7: Computer problems?

09 Jun 2013   #1

Windows 7 Professional
 
 
Computer problems?

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

============ ==
Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk.. sorry....

============ ===
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

============ ===
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and.
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

============ ========
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

==========
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....... ......... ...thank you.

============ ========
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

============ ==
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

============ =======
Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

== ============ ====
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

============ =
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

============ ======
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

============ =====
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well,i have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

============ =====
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
============ =====

And last but not least...

Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P ' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
My System SpecsSystem Spec
09 Jun 2013   #2

Windows 7 Home premium 64bit SP1
 
 

I can't help but face palm at ppls ignorance of computers even my uncles have more common sense.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Jun 2013   #3

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x86 Service Pack 1 - Linux Mint Mate 14 x64
 
 

These can't be real
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Jun 2013   #4

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by x BlueRobot View Post
These can't be real
After having worked retail for 5 1/2 years, my opinion of the intelligence of the general public plummeted dramatically and I can easily believe these stories are real.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Jun 2013   #5

Windows 7 Ultimate x64
 
 

Reel or Knot thanks for the chuckle
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Jun 2013   #6

Windows 8.1 Pro | Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit SP1
 
 

great post jadinolf
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Jun 2013   #7

windows Ultimate
 
 

Hey, some of us just aren't quick thinkers. I have a problem currently: my monitor is black, therefore I can't click on anything if I can't see it. Who can help with commands? I'm new at this--please forgive my lack of knowledge of blog's policies
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Jun 2013   #8

Windows 7 Professional
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dude View Post
great post jadinolf
Thanks, Dude.

Sometimes I stumble on what I consider to be worth posting. I hope most agree.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Jun 2013   #9

Mac OSX 10.6.8, Win 7 home premium sp1
 
 

how about the handy little cup holder than pops out?

or the person that holds a document up to their screen to scan it? lol
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Jun 2013   #10

Windows 7 Home Premium x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Lady Fitzgerald View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by x BlueRobot View Post
These can't be real
After having worked retail for 5 1/2 years, my opinion of the intelligence of the general public plummeted dramatically and I can easily believe these stories are real.

Me also. At times I come close to weeping for the future of humankind. "Idiocracy" was perhaps closer to the truth than we think.........
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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