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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [4]

02 Aug 2014   #101

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jadinolf View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
I haven't changed much in all my years. Ugly doesn't wear off with time.
I can attest to that.
So you've seen him then?

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Aug 2014   #102

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jadinolf View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
I haven't changed much in all my years. Ugly doesn't wear off with time.
I can attest to that.
Welcome to the club!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Aug 2014   #103

Windows 7 Professional
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jadinolf View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
I haven't changed much in all my years. Ugly doesn't wear off with time.
I can attest to that.
So you've seen him then?

A Guy
No, Bill, I've seen me. Been forced to look at myself for 80+ years.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.


02 Aug 2014   #104

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

I can't wait till tomorrow...as I get better looking each day!

till I put on my glasses.
THW
My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Aug 2014   #105

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

A dog goes into a grocers with a basket in its mouth. In the basket is a shopping list and a purse. The grocer reads the list, puts the goods requested into the basket, takes some money from the purse and puts back the change. The dog then runs off home.

This happens every week for months and the grocer becomes extremely impressed by the animals intelligence and its dedication to its task. One day he decides to follow the animal home and see if its owner would be willing to sell it.

The dog eventually leads the grocer to a run-down house where it puts the basket on the doorstep and rings the door-bell with its nose. After a few seconds an old woman opens the door and starts hitting the dog with a stick.

‘Stop!’ shouts the grocer. ‘What are you doing? That’s the most intelligent dog I’ve ever seen in my life.’

‘Intelligent, my arse!’ shouts the old woman. ‘That’s the third time this week he’s forgotten his keys.’

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Aug 2014   #106

Windows 7 Professional
 
 

Love it!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Aug 2014   #107

64-Bit W7 Ult_sp1
 
 

If I was going to get a dog, I wouldn't choose a Labrador..
- have you seen how many of their owners go blind..?!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Aug 2014   #108

Windows 7 Home Premium
 
 
So you apply for a job and...

If you've applied for a job and get a rejection letter from the prospective employer , just send them the following:

Code:
Dear [name of the person who signed the rejection letter],
 Thank you for your letter of [date of the rejection letter]. 
 After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable
 to accept your refusal to offer me [employment with your firm].
 This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
 large number of rejection letters.

 With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible
 for me to accept all refusals.

 Despite [name of the company or agency that sent you this letter]'s outstanding
 qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that
 your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.

 Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately
 following [graduation/job change, etc. -- get creative here].

 I look forward to working with you.
 
 Best of luck in rejecting future [candidates].
 Sincerely,
 [your name]
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Aug 2014   #109

Windows 7 Professional
 
 

I wish I had this letter when I was out job hunting.

I showed them- haven't worked in 21 years.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Sep 2014   #110

Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit
 
 

With me being a citizen of a third world country with:
  • a bad economy with not much going on
  • high unemployment
  • high migration levels
  • many applications with "no vacancy" responses (if any at all)
and with me:
  • not being able to get a job for many years now (not even online)
  • being handicapped by being from the middle age range
  • not having resources to start a business here
I think something drastic might work. I might as well try a new approach by using that letter.
Thanks Callender. This might come under a joke thread, but I am going to use it in a very serious way. Desperate times call for desperate measures. This might be the joke that uplifts me for many years to come.

Wish me well and I will update you all soon.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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