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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [4]

17 Sep 2014   #121
Ranger4

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit sp1
 
 

The problem is when the only thing in your hand is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Sep 2014   #122
HarriePateman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64-bit
 
 

haha, but when you have a screwdriver nothing looks like a screw
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17 Sep 2014   #123
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by HarriePateman View Post
haha, but when you have a screwdriver nothing looks like a screw
Don't give me such tempting straight lines!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

17 Sep 2014   #124
HarriePateman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64-bit
 
 

Haha, i always loose my bleedy screws
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18 Sep 2014   #125
Phone Man

Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
 
 

A sweet grandmother Telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked,
"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her
blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Sep 2014   #126
HarriePateman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64-bit
 
 

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04 Oct 2014   #127
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Oct 2014   #128
andrew129260

Windows 10 Pro
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.
lol I find that funnier then I should.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
07 Oct 2014   #129
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

The geekiest tech jokes on the internet - TechRepublic

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Oct 2014   #130
Shimshom

Windows 7 Ultimate x64
 
 

Was feeling bored and lonely, Joined a dating website. After 2 days half the site was in love with me long time and the other half was offering most of the universe and beyond. Below is how I dealt with it and some advice

I met a girl she came from cyber
She promised gold, to be my lover
There was just one thing a little plea
Send donations help her dig
That love she promised is for me

Then came another girl from Cyber
I fell in love, she liked the other
The heart was broken the tears were quick
But all was forgotten with one mouse click

So if your cyber girl won’t kiss
Log back in and find her niece
If the love you shared was not so great
Log back in and find her mate
And if your cyber boyfriend left you
Log back in and find his nephew
Maybe not so happily
But keep it in the family
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