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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [4]

18 Oct 2014   #141
Dude

Windows 10 Pro X64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by essenbe View Post
Paraprosdokians


Figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them!

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit . . . Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy .
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by andrew129260 View Post
The internet:

Where men are men, woman are men, and children are FBI agents.


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18 Oct 2014   #142
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Three Things In Life


Jokes Thread [4]-3-things.jpg


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18 Oct 2014   #143
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

A New Brunswick, Canada man claims he found a dead mouse in the bottom of his cup of coffee from McDonald's

Sounds like someone slipped him a Mickey

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

19 Oct 2014   #144
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

A little humor.... cartoon style.....


Jokes Thread [4]-att00002-1-.jpg




Jokes Thread [4]-1..jpg


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20 Oct 2014   #145
jadinolf

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by a guy View Post
a new brunswick, canada man claims he found a dead mouse in the bottom of his cup of coffee from mcdonald's

sounds like someone slipped him a mickey

a guy
Groan.
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20 Oct 2014   #146
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 
Well done.

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Three Things In Life


Attachment 337283
I like it well done.
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21 Oct 2014   #147
Golden
Microsoft MVP

Windows 7 Ult. x64
 
 

Jokes Thread [4]-xxx.png


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21 Oct 2014   #148
Shimshom

Windows 7 Ultimate x64
 
 

Jokes Thread [4]-wobbly-fish.jpg


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22 Oct 2014   #149
Shimshom

Windows 7 Ultimate x64
 
 

Jokes Thread [4]-soul-mate.jpg


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22 Oct 2014   #150
Arelem

Windows 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by andrew129260 View Post
The internet:

Where men are men, woman are men, and children are FBI agents.

I always heard it as:

"Montana: Where men are men, women are women and sheep are nervous."
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