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Windows 7: Jokes Thread [4]

11 Feb 2015   #221
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
I'm not sure how I did it but I sure bought a lot of defective keyboards.

Could it be global warming causing this problem?
Luck of the draw, or because they're cranked out like crazy from all over the world. You see wireless KB's in dollar stores now. I bought a really nice looking illuminated KB from Staples ($48 I believe) it looked nice, horrible ghosting though, skipped just about every 4th or 5th letter. And being that I was writing my midterm paper, that KB went back pretty quick.

Speaking of global warming, where the hell is spring?
In AZ!
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11 Feb 2015   #222
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Arelem View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jadinolf View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post

Luck of the draw, or because they're cranked out like crazy from all over the world. You see wireless KB's in dollar stores now. I bought a really nice looking illuminated KB from Staples ($48 I believe) it looked nice, horrible ghosting though, skipped just about every 4th or 5th letter. And being that I was writing my midterm paper, that KB went back pretty quick.

Speaking of global warming, where the hell is spring?
Borg, Spring is where I live.
That's not spring, 82 is summer.
No, 100°+ is summer.
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16 Feb 2015   #223
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Confession

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old . . . . I'm telling everybody!'

A Guy
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.

16 Feb 2015   #224
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 

My Spring today is -5F/-20C.
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16 Feb 2015   #225
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
My Spring today is -5F/-20C.
You're a Polar Bear; that should be a heat wave for you!
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16 Feb 2015   #226
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 

I'm a new age Polar Bear. Trying to use to this so call Global Warming. It's not working out well at all for me.
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16 Feb 2015   #227
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Layback Bear View Post
I'm a new age Polar Bear. Trying to use to this so call Global Warming. It's not working out well at all for me.
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16 Feb 2015   #228
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 

Cleveland Metroparks Zoo saddened by death of 30-year-old polar bear

Posted: August 12, 2013


Media Contacts

Joe Yachanin, (216) 635-3310
Sue Allen, (216) 635-3338

Cleveland Metroparks Zoo is saddened to report the death of its female polar bear, “Aurora.” The 30-year-old bear had been showing signs of steadily deteriorating health for the last several months.
Last spring, Zoo veterinarians gave the bear a thorough exam and found evidence of liver cancer. The veterinarians determined that the cancer was at such an advanced stage that treatment was not a viable option. Since then, Aurora’s keepers and the veterinary staff kept a close watch on her behavior for signs of discomfort and to monitor for quality of life issues.
Over the last two days it was determined that her condition had significantly worsened and the Veterinary and Animal Care staff made the difficult decision to euthanize her yesterday.
“It’s never an easy decision to euthanize an animal,” said the Zoo’s General Curator, Andi Kornak. “Aurora enjoyed a long life and she was a favorite of both guests and staff. But her condition was beyond treatment and we made the humane choice after assessing her quality of life.”
Aurora was born at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo on November 13, 1982. She did some traveling before finally returning to Cleveland in 2001, spending time in the Ruhr Zoo in Gelsenkirchen, Germany, the Milwaukee County Zoo and the Henry Vilas Zoo in Madison, Wisconsin.
Female polar bears have an average life expectancy of 24 years in zoos. Polar bears are the largest land predator in the world, capable of reaching up to 8 feet long and 1,600 pounds for a full-grown male. They are classified as “vulnerable” in the wild by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.

Cleveland Metroparks Zoo . . . Connecting People with Wildlife

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16 Feb 2015   #229
Layback Bear

Windows 7 Pro. 64/SP-1
 
 

The picture in my Avatar came from a picture I took at the Cleveland Zoo many years ago.
The bear was just trying to keep cool on a hot summer day.

I was one of 5 iron workers from local 17 that built all the cages, rocks, pools ect. for the polar bears to live and play. Then some experts from Disney came and sprayed everything with concrete to make things look like rock.

If you ever get a chance to go see some polar bears take some marshmallows with you.
They love them. They will stand up on their back legs and growl for more. Just keep throwing them one at a time and they will put on a show going after them. Don't tell anybody about the marshmallows or I might get in trouble. Don't feed the bears; I believe the sign said.
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16 Feb 2015   #230
Lady Fitzgerald

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

I don't advocate feeding zoo animals unless the zoo itself advocates it (it's bad for the animals). I've seen zoos permit visitors to feed certain animals by either providing the food at certain times or putting it in coin operated dispensers. I've fed giraffes and lorries (a fruit eating bird). The polar bears I've seen put on a pretty good show on their own without being bribed.
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