Jokes Thread [4]

Computer Problem Report Form

1. Describe your problem:
__________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
__________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__
6. Is your computer plugged in?
Yes__ No__
7. Is it turned on?
Yes__ No__
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?
Yes__ No__
9. Have you made it worse?
Yes__
10. Have you read the manual?
Yes__ No__
11. Are you sure you've read the manual?
Yes__ No__
12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?
No__
13. Do you think you understood it?
Yes__ No__
14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself? __________________________________________
15. How tall are you? Are you above this line?
__________________________________________
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
__________________________________________
17. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.
__________________________________________
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?
Yes__ No__
19. How does this problem make you feel?
__________________________________________
20. Tell me about your childhood.
__________________________________________
21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?
Yes__ No__
22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me?
Yes__

Thank you for taking the time to fill out our Computer Problems Form. Please allow 1-week response time so that the problem will resolve its self or you will reboot your computer, most likely resolving the issue.

Things you never want to hear from a computer support tech guy:

"Pentium? Gigabyte? Try speaking English man"

"Hello, my name's __________, and I'm an alcoholic."

"Me learn English goodly. Talk you do about problem."

"So you say it is plugged in? Well, I'm stumped."

"Well, did you ever consider that the screen is supposed to freeze up for 10 minutes?"

"Let me consult with my supervisor - hmmm...Results hazy, try again later."

"I'm sorry, but the word "byte" always makes me laugh"

3 logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Do all of you want a drink?"
The first logician says "I don't know."
The second logician says "I don't know."
The third logician says "Yes!"

Im printing this off for work

Windows Repair Tool:

No Virus is going to get past that! :)

I just call my technician to handle my problems.



Jim

I wondered where my sledge hammer went.

Layback Bear said:

I wondered where my sledge hammer went.

I'm surprised you saw the hammer.

Phone Man said:

I just call my technician to handle my problems.



Jim

She aint getting anywhere near my pc. lol