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Windows 7: Smoking tech support

25 Dec 2009   #1
Capt.Jack Sparrow

Windows 7 Ultimate - 64-bit | Windows 8 Pro - 64-bit
 
 
Smoking tech support

A funny story i found .. thought of posting it

After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...

Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?

Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...

Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply...

Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files...

Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it...

Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command...

For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded...

Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem...

Customer: I knew it!

Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.COM' at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes...

About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer...

Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking...

Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

Customer: MS-DOS 6.22... Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out...

When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again...

Customer: I need a new power supply...

Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?

Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply...

Technician: What did he tell you?

Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Dec 2009   #2
Dinesh

Windows® 8 Pro (64-bit)
 
 

LOL that's really funny.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Dec 2009   #3
Smoke

Windows 7 Pro 64 bit
 
 

LOL Whats funny is there are alot of people that are like that.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

25 Dec 2009   #4
Uber Philf

W7 RTM Ultimate x64
 
 

hahahaha, that made my day XD
My System SpecsSystem Spec
25 Dec 2009   #5
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 
 

That was great.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Dec 2009   #6
smarteyeball

 
 

Wait? That command doesn't actually work?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Dec 2009   #7
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

There's more to be found here Computer Stupidities

One of my favourites is:

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Computer Stupidities, Smoke
I work at an ISP in the United Kingdom. The most shocking call I received came from a student at a local college here. He had received a CD for an ISP from an American friend.
  • Customer: "Hi there. I got this CD from an American, and he says that his ISP is better than mine because the calls are free. So can I install it?"
  • Me: "Yes sir, that's your choice completely. But is this an American ISP? Because if so, I don't think it will work with your computer."
  • Customer: "Listen, I happen to be a computer student. I know exactly what I'm doing, so don't insult my intelligence!" (click)
Ten minutes later, he called back, humbled.
  • Customer: "My computer exploded."
  • Me: "What!? How did that happen?"
  • Customer: "Well, the CD didn't work. I couldn't get through to the ISP. So, I changed the computer to American power."
He'd changed the voltage switch while the computer was on, causing the power supply to explode.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Dec 2009   #8
smarteyeball

 
 

Lol, you just have to love 'red switch' stories
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Dec 2009   #9
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

Some more:
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Computer Stupidities, The Bleeding Obvious

While visiting a network user's office to install a small program (we use Windows NT 4.0 here), he asked:
  • Him: "Can you answer a question?"
  • Me: "Sure."
  • Him: "See the recycle bin? Does someone come round and empty it?"
I was teaching an email course to novice users -- some of them I was explaining how to enter contact information in the address book, so the program could "look it up" for them. Bad choice of words.
  • Student: "So it'll look up phone numbers for me?"
  • Me: "That's right."
  • Student: "Does it have to be on the right page?"
  • Me: "Uh, do you mean the right screen, or...?"
  • Student: "No, I know it has to be my own computer screen. But when I hold the phone book up to the screen for the computer to look up the number, does it have to be on the right page?"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Dec 2009   #10
Uber Philf

W7 RTM Ultimate x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dwarf View Post
Some more:
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Computer Stupidities, The Bleeding Obvious

While visiting a network user's office to install a small program (we use Windows NT 4.0 here), he asked:
  • Him: "Can you answer a question?"
  • Me: "Sure."
  • Him: "See the recycle bin? Does someone come round and empty it?"
I was teaching an email course to novice users -- some of them I was explaining how to enter contact information in the address book, so the program could "look it up" for them. Bad choice of words.
  • Student: "So it'll look up phone numbers for me?"
  • Me: "That's right."
  • Student: "Does it have to be on the right page?"
  • Me: "Uh, do you mean the right screen, or...?"
  • Student: "No, I know it has to be my own computer screen. But when I hold the phone book up to the screen for the computer to look up the number, does it have to be on the right page?"
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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