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Windows 7: Imponderables

23 Feb 2010   #1


Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver' licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?

17. Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?

18. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

19. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

20. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:

21. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

22. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

23. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?

24. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?

My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Feb 2010   #2

Windows 7 Ultimate (x64) SP1

My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Feb 2010   #3

Windows 7 Ultimate x64

Don't forget, why do we park on driveways, and drive on parkways?
My System SpecsSystem Spec

23 Feb 2010   #4

Windows 7 Ultimate x64, Mint 9

Where is number 3?

Otherwise, great. My sides hurt now.

My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Feb 2010   #5

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit. SP1.

Very good.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Feb 2010   #6

Windows 7 Ultimate x64 (XP, 98SE, 95, 3.11, DOS 7.10 on VM) + Ubuntu 10.04 LTS Lucid Lynx

I guess i have answers for a few.

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Love is Blind, but LUST is not blind

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Actually it should be tenty one
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Feb 2010   #7

Windows 7 Ultimate Signature Edition

reminds me of the deep intellect of a pot head
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Feb 2010   #8

Windows 7 Ultimate x64

My brother had a friend, before the advent of the podcast, who made audio recordings he called "Deep Thoughts" where he posed these questions. It was interesting, maybe I should try one.
My System SpecsSystem Spec

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