Welcome Bigred469 to the windows 7 forums.
Password protecting your laptop is a false warm fuzzy as anyone can take the disk out and read it with another computer in the brute force mode. also there are many bootable cd's that will tell you all the passwords.
In other words, there is no real way to protect your laptop outside of file encryption. Also a bios strong password helps a bit but still can be broken.
There is a company that sells a product called phone home, I believe that would let you know where it was and do some things to it from remote.
If it was an apple macbook then apple has products that will do what you want.
In other words, NO, you can't do a remote wipe of your data or whatever without an installed product.
Microsoft's update is not designed to do what you want.