Thanks jesus, not quite what I was looking for, but your reply gave me some search words that made me come up with 2 programs that still dont do what I want but a combination of the 2 would be perfect.
Stardock's Fences makes it possible to create ... well... fences on your desktop so one can order and group icons. If the fences could be configured to store their content in a custom folder it would be perfect.
I also found this
windows manager that has an option to pin a program to a desktop, but keeps it underneath other programs (unlike deskpins that always keeps it on top).
if I could get an explorer window with this option (I dont want to pay for the whole program since I am only interested in an option that doesnt exactly do what i want) and custimize the explorer window to my needs it would already do the trick.
Does anyone know of a program that allows this?