Sensational suggestion!
I downloaded the HP firmware, but could not reflash in Windows (because the ID would have been wrong); which is what that file does. Also, with the affected drive attached, the BIOS won't hand off to the OS -- no boot. But we have tricks, don't we?!!!
I extracted the .hex (new flash) file from the download with Universal Extracter.
I borrowed Dell's DOS flash utility JE4 (which burns Dell's hex files), and copied it to a good floppy (I still have some), along with the new firmware. Now, with JE4, you can FORCE a flash by telling the utility what "port" to work on. In my case, it was secondary master which is port 3.
So, the command at "A" prompt would be: je4 je6hp104.hex 3 /m (this is a boot mode switch).
Powered up with an ME boot disk and the drive unplugged (remember, the BIOS post stalls). Hot-plugged the bad drive, and replaced the boot floppy with the one that had the flasher and new hex file. Typed in the above command, and VOILA, the cd drive was restored to usefulness.
Everyone wins with this one: profdlp, accolades for getting the ball rolling; my neighbor, receiving a valuable lesson; and all of us, by learning how to convert a windows-flashed firmware to DOS. There are many times that's the only way to do it.
Thanks to this wonderful forum.